我不配 - Jay Chou

這街上太擁擠

太多人有秘密

玻璃上有霧氣

在被隱藏起過去

妳臉上的情緒

在還原那場雨

這巷弄太過彎曲

走不回故事裡

這日子不再錄

又斑駁了幾句

剩下搬空回憶的

我在大房子裡

電影院的座椅

隔遙遠的距離

感情沒有對手戲

妳跟自己下棋

*還來不及仔仔細細寫下妳的關於

描述我如何愛妳

妳卻微笑的離我而去

**這感覺已經不對

我努力在俛回

一些些應該體貼的感覺我沒給

妳嘟嘴許的願望很卑微在妥協

是我忽略妳不過要人陪

Oh 這感覺已經不對

我最後才了解

一頁頁不忍翻閱的情結妳好累

妳莫背為我掉過幾次淚多憔悴

而我心碎妳受罪 妳的美

我不配**

My Way - 张敬轩

一直在酝酿

一直在盼望

爸爸和妈妈

唯一的理想

二月第一天

一九八一年

我第一次对他们眨了眨眼

等待快点过去多少个明天

希望这个宝贝快快长大一点一点

身体要健康所有的事情都如所愿

baby长大以后就是小轩

*I will find my way

I want a different way

I'll change the wind and rain

There'll be a brand new day

小时候受伤有人心痛失落有人安慰

现在遇到困难自己就要学会面对

I will find my way

I want a different way

Nothing will stop me now

No matter what they say

困难要用我的坚强和努力勇敢面对

现在用心去追感觉就对

I'll find my way

I will find my way

I find my way

一直就这样

找我的方向

不理会别人

奇怪的眼光

直到有一天

我忽然发现

梦想已经在实现

等待快点过去多少个明天

看着自己已经慢慢长大一点一点

我的生活应该让我自己学会掌握

想信自己

不怕风雨再多

Sad-a-day (Saturday)

It's a bright and lazy Saturday afternoon,
and I'm the only one typing away in my office
while most people are sleeping, shopping or chatting away.

While this is my first Saturday spent working in office and I doubt it will be the last,
I pretty much enjoy being left alone with the huge office to myself and
doing my work slowly and independently.
It's quite a different feeling, and even my work doesn't look so scary anymore.

At the end of a day,
it's a matter of perspective. =)
Saturdays with work don't have to be 'Sad-a-days'...

Most importantly, it is to love what you are doing,
because it takes the difficulties out of your work.

Back to work, until I take a breather later.

Palette of colours

Someone overturned the palette again,
and the different hues splashed all over
like a piece of fine art
All intermixed without thought
but all pieced as one.

My painter must have been trying to remind me
how beautiful life can be =)

Only against a dark background,
do vibrant colours stand out.
Only upon having gone through struggles and throes
do people truly live.

Having a life is certainly different from living a life.

Read something meaningful today:

Life is short,

Break the rules,

Forgive quickly,

Love truly,

Laugh uncontrollably,

And never regret anything that made you smile.

I hope I get to see these azure skies everyday. =)

Found this poem and nice picture to go along with it...

Cuore Pesante

Pressed and sunken
Every trudge leaves a trace of consanguinity
Implacably dragged across
Grainy dunes
Every eschar burnt by grit.

Dredged tirelessly from hell.

I fantasmi appaiono di notte.

Cuore Pesante.

-Anonymous

Running

This morning, I dragged my lazy butt out of my bed and forced myself to wake up with the big beautiful sun shining, casting light into my room.

Because I decided to go running on a lovely Sunday morning.

My mum was pretty surprised cos she knows I only start running when it's a new phase of my life. But I'm sure she's glad I'm doing something positive and waking up early. I think my body has gotten used to waking up at unearthly hours on weekends.

And I woke up in cold sweat last night at 4.55am as I had a nightmare that sent me sitting up and looking around the room.

While I wasn't like running 3 or 4 km, I was making small baby footsteps!

of course, this time,
I ran towards the sun, because I always want to run towards the sunlight. =)

Had a fantastic time catching up with my friends during the weekend, catching up on old times and sipping coffee and updating each other on our lives.
And of course, memories of how simple uni life was then... orientation camps... celebrating each others' birthdays and random chalets...guitar and jazz dance classes on weekdays and weekends, coffee sessions at fong seng, munchy monkey pasta and ice cream...
what beautiful memories...

and at the end of the day, its being able to chat with these friends despite not catching up for so long that makes the friendships precious... =)
thank you all my dearest friends =) to each and everyone of you...

Boracay Island

Breathtaking view, isn't it? Looks like a great way to spend the holidays, on the beach, suntanning (though honestly, i doubt i need any more...), sipping a cold beer.. chilling out and forgetting about... work!


And let the tranquility clear waters take you away... =)
Just the thought makes me smile!
Now, its time to save up my vitamin M and make this a reality...

Crush - David Archuleta

I hung up the phone tonight,

Something happened for the first time,

Deep inside it was a rush, what a rush,

Cause the possibility that

You would ever feel the same away about me,

It’s just too much, just too much

*Why do I keep running from the truth,

All I ever think about is you

You got me hypnotized, so mesmerized,

And I just got to know

#Do you ever think, when you’re all alone,

All that we can be, where this thing can go,

Am I crazy or falling in love,

Is it real or just another crush

Do you catch a breath, when I look at you,

Are you holding back, like the way I do,

Cause I’m tryin’, tryin’ to walk away

But I know this crush aint’ goin’ away,

goin’ away#

Has it ever crossed your mind when we’re hangin’,

Spending time girl,

Are we just friends, is there more, is there more,

See it’s a chance we’ve gotta take,

Cause I believe that we can make this into

Something that will last,

Last forever, forever

#Do you ever think, when you’re all alone,
All that we can be, where this thing can go,
Am I crazy or falling in love,
Is it real or just another crush

Do you catch a breath, when I look at you,
Are you holding back, like the way I do,
Cause I’m tryin’, tryin’ to walk away
But I know this crush aint’ goin’ away,
goin’ away#

Bottoms Up

Chilled out at IndoChine @Wisma yesterday after work with Shiang...
Had a few glasses to unwind, coupled with rusty jokes and hilarious jabs at each other...

Quote of the night:
"this guy friend of mine... is a guy..."
how enlightening... haha...

But you really get different perspectives talking to different people...
And having worked for a couple of months, people do change, I guess.
The conversation topics seem to slide away from mugging in NUS to work, money, love etc...
At least 40 more years of working? Sad but true.

But the chill out session was good... lets have more of such sessions k! =)

The petals slowly unfold

presenting a whole new world

The blooming of the rose

A scent that tingles the nose. =)

It never pours but rains here

This is like home, where the soft cushions are comfortable and the people there are familiar and warm.

'Rain boasts a mod bar counter, 8 individual "living room seatings",

2 private rooms and a pool table for that personal choice in karaoke enjoyment.

Each couch and sofa setting in the main hall seats up to 8 persons comfortably and

the see-through drapes afford the illusion of privacy for those embarrassed to sing and

face a crowd. Each table has its own flat touch screen karaoke system where patrons

may select their songs and songs are allocated in a round robin manner with two songs

per table per round. When it comes to your table's turn, the waitresses will speedily

pass you the microphones from the previous table.

If you are a lone crooner, the bar counter offers a wonderful place to hang out, sing and drink. '

Dark portentous skies, strewn with thunderous clouds
Ferociously threatening to break under the burden of the weight
Inclement weather, tempestuous storms brewing
Uncontainable and unrestrained,
Gushing out were those pearls I dreamt about.

Maybe at the end of the day, these will just be fluffy stuff drifting by.

Soaked
in the blissful blessing of showers
In the twinkling of an eye
The glistening pearls cascading upon on us
Sprinkling
Of a tap left unturned
Sparkled
Under the light cast by the street lamps
Darkness, when souls rest
Yet so incandescent when spirits play

The carousel spins, twirls, revolves
While the little apparition perches herself on the pavement
and stares with her chin on her palms

The twirls the dancer makes as
she throws herself backwards
The tap of her dainty pretty feet
Smoothing out the syncopation

Until the apparition lifts herself to her feet and lands quite promptly on the ground and pretends a little pousette and tips her toes and does a swift pirouette –
all in a swift minute.

And with a thud,
She lays on the tarmac
Flat out.

It is a trick of the mind.
The eyes do not see
The ears do not hear
The skin does not feel.

When does the rain cease?

This has been my frequent hang out,
after work chilling with Su,
sitting at the seats outside the departure hall,
watching the sunset,
seeing the day go by,
with nary a worry,
and just enjoying the sights of travellers and backpackers.


I miss my backpacking days where airports were often stops to link me from one city to another.
Airports are beautiful places with complicated operations
and I've come to appreciate it more.
=)

When life gets tough, remember what I told you.

Don't doubt your capabilities because

the last person you can trust is still yourself.

=)

Feather

The eternal pillowfights
Slammed across the cheeks
Bore a few scars here and there
Deluged with an inundation of feathers

The plethoric sutures
A haemophiliac’s compulsion
Scathing lacerations

A Feather
Floats
Down
And
Tickles
The
Throat.

走火入魔- 丁噹+阿信

对不起　刚才我　是不是听错
还是我　想太多　想到了昏头

天气不错　开了窗吹走脸红

进一步　退一步　都害怕打破
更不想　再和你　永远做朋友

给你线索　也给我勇敢藉口

下定决心　沉默
想让沉默为我们追究
你和我　这一刻　无声的　而交流
却突然震耳欲聋


*一字一句一瞬间　走了火
一天一点一转眼　入了魔
忘了我从什么时候
忘了你为什么能够让我
一步一步走火入魔（和我）*

一直猜　一直想　一直的揣摹
一直到　你变成　甜美的心痛

如果可以　把如果变成结果

下定决心　执着
想让执着为我们突破
我和你　很想说　这时候　
出现烟火让心间充满感动

*一字一句一瞬间　走了火
一天一点一转眼　入了魔
忘了我从什么时候
忘了你为什么能够让我
一步一步走火入魔　　（和我）

一字一句一瞬间　走了火
一天一点一转眼　入了魔
如果你有相同感受
感受到有种突然的冲动
放肆一次走火入魔　　（和我）

一字一句一瞬间　走了火
一天一点一转眼　入了魔
忘了我从什么时候
忘了你为什么能够让我
一步一步走火入魔　　（和我）

#一字一句一瞬间　走了火
一天一点一转眼　入了魔
如果你有相同感受
感受到有种突然的冲动
放肆一次走火入魔　　（和我）

A Good Weekend

Finally a breather from the hectic hell week.

It's with these crazy weekdays that I start to appreciate the short weekends I have.

It's the littlest things in life that makes me smile.

My friends introduced me to this place in Changi,

called the Fisherman's Village, which sadly is not the same as before.

However, I enjoyed every minute of it because it was beautiful.

Underneath the starry skies,

I could have my dinner,

enjoy the sea breeze and take in the break-taking night scenery

sip a little of my ice cold beer

share some of our thoughts

feel the warmth of the wavering candle light

laugh away the troubling thoughts of work

smell the salty air

touch the sandy beach with my toes

let go a little.

I love the beach at night because it calms me down,

it lets me forget about my problems,

taking me far away...

It gives me time to stop and take a breather.

Been on numerous car rides, with the stereo just blasting away.

I think music has a great soothing effect on me,

the tunes lull me into relaxing,

the lyrics spin my mind,

and having a smooth car ride just makes the day so much better.

A good weekend that has helped me destressed even though I feel a little ill.

Been working overtime for almost everyday,

and I also brought work home.

This is the epitome of how work never ends.

Nice and lazy Sundays, to cuddle under the blankets,

to refuse to wake up, to switch off the alarms without guilt,

to take a slow leisure walk, to slowly enjoy life...

My favourite quote still remains:

Taking a rest allows us to walk further.

Now, its Sunday and after going for dinner later,

it's back to hitting the work again.

At least, I feel much more well-rested for the next week. =)

I love the whole world...

A Discovery Channel video, very well made.


The world is indeed awesome.

... and my heart stopped for a while...

Drowning...

... in order to be saved...

The songs on my playlist nowadays... too much KTV's influence... =)

只对你有感觉 - Farenheit and Hebe

無解的眼神　心像海底針
光是猜測　　我食慾不振
有點煩人　　又有點迷人


浪漫沒天份　反應夠遲鈍
不夠謹慎　花挑錯顏色
但很矛盾　喜歡你的笨

*微笑　再美　再甜　不是妳的　都不特別
眼淚　再苦　再鹹　有你安慰　又是晴天
靠的　再進　再貼　少了擁抱　就算太遠
全世界只對你［妳］有感覺


玩的　再疯　再野　妳瞪一眼　我就收斂
馬路　再寬　再遠　只要你牽　就很安全
我會　又乖　又黏　溫柔體貼　絕不敷衍
我只對你［妳］有感覺*

體貼卻黏人　愛哭卻溫順
有時天真　有時很邪惡
對你耍很　就是捨不得

請吸收養分　讓腦袋平衡
要你現身　動作慢吞吞
怎麼承認　我非你不可

说你爱我 - S.H.E

下著雨讓濕氣稀釋回憶

我靠著你不出聲音

看著你看著斑駁的甜蜜

愛你困住你也困住我自己

*我那躲也躲不掉的微妙傷口

隱隱作痛

你那戒也戒不掉的甜蜜藉口

也讓我精神腐朽*

#說你愛我 變成一種問候

不如趁早放手 把愛墜落讓滿地鮮紅

說你愛我 變成一種折磨

不用陪我走到最後#

我承擔不起你的承諾

For the mirror

For the biatch =)

Remember, if the world didn't suck...

We'd all fall off!

Hang in there alright?

Everything will straighten itself out. =)

Have faith.

Memorabilia

Happiness is not a station you arrive at but the manner of traveling.

You gain strength, courage and confidence by every experience in which you really stop to look fear in the face.

Squeezed dry

A blank slate of paper

Jumbled thoughts, darting around the corners

Pelted on the ground, vaulting into the empyrean

Sprawling across the surfaces

The pen tip almost reaches for them -

The infinite teasing and taunting

The promising glow

The brazen possibilities

all evanesce into thin air

once the tip touches them.

A smudged botch of rumination.

Procrastination

Procrastination - I'll do that tomorrow.

Seeing Stars

After numerous hours of tiresome typing,

my eyes are beginning to tear and

i'm starting to see stars...

Love Song - Sara Bareilles

Head under water

And they tell me to breathe easy for a while

The breathing gets harder,

even I know that

You made room for me but it's too soon to see

If I'm happy in your hands

I'm unusually hard to hold on to

Blank stares at blank pages

No easy way to say this

You mean well, but you make this hard on me

*I'm not gonna write you a love song

'cause you asked for it

'cause you need one, you see

I'm not gonna write you a love song

'cause you tell me it's

Make or breaking this

If you're on your way

I'm not gonna write you to stay

If all you have is leaving

I'm gonna need a better

Reason to write you a love song today

Today*

I learned the hard way

That they all say things you want to hear

And my heavy heart sinks deep down under you and

Your twisted words,

Your help just hurts

You are not what I thought you were

Hello to high and dry

Convinced me to please you

Made me think that I need this too

I'm trying to let you hear me as I am

*I'm not gonna write you a love song

'cause you asked for it

'cause you need one, you see

I'm not gonna write you a love song

'cause you tell me it's

Make or breaking this

If you're on your way

I'm not gonna write you to stay

If all you have is leaving

I'm gonna need a better

Reason to write you a love song today*

#Promise me that you'll leave the light on

To help me see with daylight, my guide, gone

'cause I believe there's a way you can love me

Because I say#

*I won't write you a love song

'cause you asked for it

'cause you need one, you see

I'm not gonna write you a love song

'cause you tell me it's make or breaking this

Is that why you wanted a love song

'cause you asked for it

'cause you need one, you see

I'm not gonna write you a love song

'cause you tell me it's make or breaking this

If you're on your way

I'm not gonna write you to stay

**If your heart is nowhere in it

I don't want it for a minute

Baby, I'll walk the seven seas when I believe that

There's a reason to

Write you a love song today

Today**

No food and all work make Izzy a grouch

I'm famished after working through each piece of my master piece of work in the office.

The canteen's closed, the nearest place with food with a human bean is in Tampines Mall.

No wonder I'm looking more and more like the grump above.

A hungry me is a crappy me.

I can't wait to go home...

Growling,

Izzy

Madness begins with a "M"

... and so do Mondays.

Monday madness.
It's 7.07pm and I'm still in office.
Hardly had a time for breather throughout the day,
and even when I went for my occasional break, my work was in my hands.

Technically, I've been in office for almost more than 12 hours...
And from the looks of it, I don't think I can leave any time soon.

This is self-induced Over Time due to overwhelming workload.
I believe, I've never been so hardworking even when I was in school.

In view of how I sometimes even dream about my work, the thin fine line between sanity and insanity seems to be quite blurred.

I think I can start moving into my office soon.
I'll save lots of moo-lah on my transport, food, and most importantly, accomodation.

Perfect.

Daydreams

Made of fluffy cotton candies
Or constructed by metallic steel realities?
The tangential train of thoughts,
Badgering the perennially revolving carousel
Occasionally derailed but
Often hauled back into its place on track –

Towering bells, Perilous labyrinths,
Macabre catacombs, Sublime sceneries
Snow-capped spires, Timeworn ruins,
Artic chilliness, Torrid glow
Sets the imagination in flames
A cascade of roses burgeoning across the fields.

When does a daydream become significant enough

To be considered a real dream?

Dreaming,

Izzy

The Break of the Dawn

Watched The Next Wave at UCC with my uni mates on Saturday
and there were several beautiful pieces of dance performances.

There was one that I particularly liked,

and it was called the Break of the Dawn.

I enjoyed every moment of it,

because it gave me lots of insights.

For many, the break of the dawn means having to deal with the same old routine of work, school and mundane activities.

Yet, the dawn for some people may be an awakening,

the beginning of something really beautiful.

I particularly like dawn, because it symbolizes a brand new day,

everything from yesterday is now transformed into a new beginning.

The raw energy from the arising sun, gives me strength, i believe.

This particular piece, coupled with the awesome mise-en-scene, really caught my attention and I was trying to figure out my own perspective of life throughout the entire performance.

The beauty of dance is such that few words are spoken,
unlike in a play performance,
and every body language -
every turn, every pirouette, every graceful move of the hands,
represent a certain emotion.
And that is why I think that dance performances are much harder to decipher, to understand...
As an audience, one has to focus and let the music take you away and imagine what the choreographer has in mind.
Most importantly, it is to let yourself go, feel the music, hear the passion and flow wherever the piece takes you to.

The beauty of performances is that -
everything can be read from different perspectives.

Just like life where
Everything is subjective...

Teaching

Recently took up a new assignment and this kid is really one of a kind.

He may not be very sharp or fast,
but he makes me feel that teaching him is worthwhile every bit of my time.

Very cheeky, he always makes me laugh
And remember how terrible and troublesome a kid I must have been.

I've always enjoyed teaching kids around 14-19 years old,
probably because they are closer to my age,
and I can share more of my life experiences to them.

I always felt that I could only contribute so much academically,
but lifewise, I believe I can at least share and empathize with how they felt.
And most importantly, I like being able to be someone they can relate to..
And let them know I'm always there.

Passion for handling kids,
it has been there.
And it has been rekindled...

Maybe one day I'll go and pursue this passion.
Maybe one day.
=)

One Step At A Time

If anything my job has taught me,
it would be definitely patience and learning to manage my emotions.

Being bombarded with a heavy workload every day,
work never ends.
It is impossible to finish work when the very next day,
it all piles up again.
So after a while, I learned to take things one step at a time.
Taking it easy, handling it as it comes.
Things don't get so overwhelming this way.

I've always been the kind who needs to talk to others when I have a bad day
Especially when I face a lot of pressure, I need to talk about it.

This job has taught me self-discipline, something which I feel has made me grow in these 2 months.

I stopped talking about all the troubling matters in my life to others
And learned to handle it on my own,
be it talking to myself or in my head.
All in my own stride, and I have been able to handle it much better myself.
And I definitely share less about my life now.

In fact, I think I stopped talking much now.

A bad thing because I start keeping things to myself?
Maybe.
But this is how I've grown for the better. :)

Fingers to the lips

Not a word spoken, yet everything resonates loud and clear.

Not a single scream, yet it pierces through the air.

The silence is indeed deafening.

Anniversary

Dear Pa,

How have you been? I've been staring at the skies, and the stars have been beautiful.
The moon shines, clear and bright tonight.
It's beautiful, just like your love.

Today, I almost forgot it was your chinese anniversary.
Until Mum reminded me.

Time flies, doesn't it?

6 years in the twinkling of an eye.

6 years without your presence,
6 years with your absence.

I just remenbered,
I only held your hands once in your life.

When your face was sunken in,
when your body became boney,
when your time was running out
and when your life was wasting away.

Pa, it's been 6 years since you're gone.

My mind seem to be failing me -
day by day, my memories of you fade away.

Bit by bit, the photographs turn yellow,
they turn at the edges,
until the flame consumes them all
until there's no more.

I'm afraid I'll forget how you'll look like..
But I'm more afraid how I'll remember your pain...

Pa, I love you.

Forever and ever. Always.

Love,
your littlest daughter.

Despondency

This is something I will take home from this business meeting.

If you don't give up, you'll never fail.

Throwing in the towel simply means you are prepared to allow yourself fall to the deepest ends and that you are not even going to fight until the very last breath.

Giving up is a sign of fear, and it shouldn't be ruling our lives.
Perhaps, we really need to fight until the very end, until we exhaust all possible alternatives to work around the problem.

I should embrace this and face the challenges in work bravely. =)

Rubber band

Stretched until it's taut,

Inching every way you can,

In all directions

Until the breaking point -

And then you let go.

And the rubber band lays there lifeless

Devoid of expression

Drained of energy

Denied of life.

The harder you throw, the further it bounces.

I'll remember.

A stress ball a day, keeps izzy the grouch away...

yes, this is exactly what i need now...
and just the thing to have,
with a wide grin plastered all over it...
wish i had one right now...

somehow, only these can keep ur sanity at this point of time..
or so i think...

Talk is cheap

... it indeed is cheap.

And surely, actions speak louder than words..
... do they?
Or are they even easier to stage...

... or perhaps, reading minds is tiring...

Buried

Buried...

And wanting to be buried...

Burnt out...

And wanting a respite...

...such feelings buried alive, never die...

Condemning choices

Here I am, once again, ranting about the curse to have to choose.

Having a choice, sometimes, is a damning task.

Stuck in a rut, at the cross junctions.

... or so as the above poster says,

Let go of the power of choice, or the power of fear.

But how come in the tunnel, the only light i see...

... is that of another coming train?

Love

Do you marry the person you can live with?

Or do you marry the person you can't live without?

The complexities of life and love are often intertwined.

Read www.postsecret.blogspot.com.

White Christmas

Christmas always means a lot to me.

Always like seasonal holidays cos these are times for family and friends to gather, to sit down and catch up, to just lie beside each other and stare in a daze at the sparking Christmas trees.

Maybe too much media influence, maybe it's just too beautiful.

Given a choice, I'd definitely want to spend my Christmas somewhere with winter.

Beautiful Iceland.

I can so imagine how beautiful my year end holidays will be if i ever get an opportunity to visit there...

Pasta mania

I love to eat spaghetti, especially white-wine based seafood fusilli.
I was very spoiled for choices when I went to Italy and tasted lotsa pastas...

Not a keen fan of cabonara, this dish tasted really good.
Simple imgredients and warmed up, this appealed to my palate...
Certainly drove away the week blues and drove the curl of the lips into a smile...

Thanks a lot!

Fast Cars Fancy Women

Thanks to the endless conversations and oglings of cars,
it has ignited this desire for me to own my little machine.

To weather sun and rain... to bear the distance between two ends of Singapore...
to stay with me through my good and bad days...

So far, a few cars have caught my eye and my heart's been stolen ever since...



Nissan March

Looks like a little lady bug, and it's very round, hence aesthetically pleasing to me.

However, it's a little on the high end range, for a poor working woman. and unless i'm blessed with fortune, i doubt i can afford it eventually...

But I'm still entitled to ogle at it, aren't i... =)

Suzuki Swift

Recently I saw like millions of them on the road, and the pearl white colour is inded drool worthy.... Love hatchbacks which are easy for parking and driving... I can go on and on about how I love its look...

I just can't wait to get my hands on a swift... a tad more affordable than March...

Mazda MX5

For this beauty, I can only dream about it.... so stop tempting and instigating me to buy it jian huo!