my bro in law was hospitalized this morning, after he fainted at jurong east interchange.
sometimes, i really dont want to think abt it.
you dont want to know how fragile life is.
when u sit outside A n E, u see ambulances pass by in front of ur eyes.
stretchers hurriedly ushered in, paramedics looking calm yet tinges of a certain melancholy felt from their eyes.
how do u respond to the fact that the closest person u have to a father and brother is facing such health problems, and yet AGAIN u can do nothing. and i mean nothing.
how frail life becomes.
limp, vulnerable and just
so
impt?
why do good ppl always suffer?
there's a reason why i dont wanna think abt the fact tt if he is lucky.. he can live up to..
i dont wanna go there.
as i sit with my sis,
i just catch myself hating the financial trap we all r in
why an ill person still has to work.

i rethought thru my decision not to straight away pursue my social work professional degree in these three years as i stared at the Family Counselling Room, i know I could be sitting in there if I wanted to.
but look at me,
im in no financial position to do so.
so i chose to try for a teaching awaRd,
hopefully i can move up my CAP score up to a 4.3
and take subjects like lit and history
get a bond
teach for four years..which is what i want but not for a lifetime
and then do a postgrad dip in social work
meanwhile i cant do Things like soci or theatre for major
what can u complain abt when u want a better life?

always wanted to write a novel/play.
have been writing since 12
what would u say
if i could just stop being myself
and write as i may
til good and bad health?

haha.
bad attempt at poems.
but then.

i dont know.
i feel so repressed.
i've got so many things i wanted to do.
believe me,
i wanna do dance, art, fashion design, hair styling, theatre, directing, acting, writing
crap
isabelle,
stop dreaming.
u arent talented
not talented in those senses anyway.

if u have realised i am just rambling my tangential thoughts.
aye.
1 month and 1 day closer
u are leaving for aussie
i'm not gonna focus on how sad its gonna be
but i know that i wanna make sure its the best 32 days left.