i found this on john's blog and found it sweet and meaningful :)

Find a guy who calls you beautiful instead of hot,
who calls you back when you hang up on him,
who will stay awake just to watch you sleep.

Wait for the boy who kisses your forehead,
who wants to show you off to the world
when you are in your sweats
,who holds your hand in front of his friends,
who thinks you're just as pretty without makeup on.

Wait for the one who is constantly reminding you
of how much he cares about you
and how lucky he is to have you.

Wait for the one who turns to his friends and say "...that's her."

GUYS... Find a girl who calls you immature in that affectionate way
instead of hot or sexy,
who can't stand it when you hang up on her and calls right back,
who would sit there for hours looking into your eyes,
who doesn't care what you look like,
but what's inside counts the most,

Who looks at you with the twinkle in her eyes and kisses you,
Wants to be with you in public, even if you wear those old grass stained and ripped pants with the bleached jersey like always,

Wait for the girl who is a constant reminder of your happiness and joy,
who makes you smile just by knowing she loves you back.

Wait for the girl who you give piggy back rides to in public
and she still is in view of her friends, while she gets off and you hear her go:
"you're the one for me, for always"

dippers for the 3 choc syrups!

fruits... reminds me of gelare's tutti frutti waffle =)

our little toasting of marshmellows (slurps)

waffles and ice cream and choc syrup

dark choc, white choc and milk choc... yums!

tressa and me, at max brenner. me with huge eye bags

ramya and me :)

yesterday lugged the stacks of name tags and papers to be cut home from the office
supposed to stay in office til 9+
but i had tuition at 730
so i tot of sharing work with ramya, so i brought work back
and so by the time i reached home
really really dead tired working 9am to 9pm
i started eating dinner late, den started cutting and preparing the name tags til 3am
do until i blur and doze off and cut my fingers again
then some were missing but ramya was asleep le
so i was kinda worried but tried to wake up early

yup tat means this morning
i was awakened by her sms at 7am
den quickly bathed, put make up, brought my plasters and changed into those formal long sleeved purple shirt and black pants
lugged the whole paper bag of name tags to Insead at near buona vista there
where my company had a Visionary and Leaders talk with the Dean of Wharton Uni
so had to prepare the registration booth
and guess wat..
really many name tags were missing
and the scary thing is i remember cutting them many days before, so did ramya remember typing them
and guests arrived so early
we were practically almost freaking out with this obnoxious woman from our sponsers
she was practically breathing on my neck insisting on her colleague and hername tags
when
1. she could see we were totally not open for registration
2. she knew she was being a total bother
3. she saw the name tags which she wanted but still asked us where was it
4. when in the mad rush for name tags where the guests messed up the tags, she insisted on her name tags AGAIN
5. when we really had no choice as many other companies' name tags were missing and they were perfectly fine with us printing on the spot with our labelling machine, she yelled at me sarcastically and said.. 'what? this is what we get?' den she refused to take it and left the printed name tags on my table
6. she walked past and grabbed them suddenly
7. the helpers realised that the name tags she wanted was actually there and she just deliberately found trouble with us
8. she asked one of her colleagues to be sarcastic and tell us that the event should start already when they were the ones with the wrong email
9. apparently, she is always always picking on us and sadly, she is the hr manager for that company and they are our sponsors afterall.. every event she has been here

i really gritted my teeth and tried to smile, remembering all the times at american club waitressing where i got a lot of crap from unreasonable customers

met ntu ppl and nus grads talking abt this aiesec thingy which sounds really cool with internships and programs that help u market urself and such
they told me to join cos i seemed to be outgoing
or was it that i was just being plain talkative? i dont know
but i just know as time passes and ramya is quitting soon
i feel that the company seems to be kinda lacking an impt person like her
she's the coolest colleague i ever had
i admire her straightforwardness and her direct approach when she doesnt see eye to eye with stuff
her insight to life is really inspiring and i have learned so much thru her
really going to miss her when she leaves

and there was this ger who grad from ntu engine recently and i jus happened to click very well with her
she told me abt how she sustained a long distance relxnship for 4 yrs with her bf in france
*jaws drop*
she is really cool, very easy to talk to
and i really was glad to know her

i guess thru all this work
i have learned that i really wanna go into the line of hr/pr
i think so

then went back to office at 1pm
after ramya taught me invoicing, c3 and rsvp
went for lunch with kenneth
kinda had a good talk with him regarding career prospects
he's 36 but with the jovial positive attitude, he brings life to panorama..
:)

went back office and froze to death in the office
not really freeze to death,
but i was shivering
today i worked fully for eAngelz
and i started preparing my second blast
and calls came in looking for me for the june 7th networkig event
its like my baby cos i did the blast and am gonna prepare for it
going down to get all the nitty gritty details
:) very tiring, but it is accomplishing
Angelznite as a networking event for marketing professionals as well as a place to chill out..
we have it once a month
and ramya really allowed me much autonomy by letting me learn on the job and doing most of the planning... she guided me smoothly along
:)
hope my event works out beautifully

and i felt really too tired for tuition given the fact tt i've had tuition with my 3 kids almost everyday
asked for a cancellation today and hung out with teresa and her fren brennan at esplanade's max brennen's chocolate place
being no avid fan of chocolate like teresa, i wasnt so intrigued at first
but it was pure novelty to be able to dip strawberries, marshmellow, banana pieces and bread into dark chocolate, white chocolate and milk choc
i had fun :)
it was really good to chil out after one whole week of crazy work

yup, and i took the bus 97 back home
and almost missed my stop by oversleeping

and pjc sleepover coming up too..lots of planning etc
and tomorrow after tuition at 930pm there's a meeting at harbour front
yup, tts how busy i am

am off to bed at 11:09am
i never sleep so early
so i guess i am really dead beat
nitex ppl =)

whoa
had the most happening long weekend ever
with friday being one which killed my legs
a fire drill where i had to walk down 26 storeys with a colleague about to faint on me
and basically my legs felt like they wanted to change into liquid state of jelly
pwoar
so long never walk so many flights
(faints)

my legs still hurt

then went to meet with steve and gang on that night
went holland v the coffee connosieur
ordered two jugs of heineken
and matthew whipped out his baileys
the whole night we were playing funny stuff like
open/close, around the world in eighty days
i got so giggly
i was laughing at practically everything
but it was reallly nice =)

then next morning went town with my family
walked around til 5 plus to meet sherwyn den a long lost friend at 8
so we ate at cafe cartel at 8, went gone fishing,
sent sherwyn home
den walked home
den the friend took a cab back
by the way my legs were doubly painful

woke up next morning with blisters all over
but went to temples with mum and 4th sis
had tuition on a sunday afternoon
me feeling kinda cold and sick!
poor kid..
and poor me as well
haha
was on the way back when steve asked us out for dinner
went home for yummy home cooked crabs
den joined them for some late drink
and reached home at 2 am
being the last in the cab

den this morning went k box at cineleisure
then went to look for new shoes
but combed the whole place still cant find
:(

my search for new shoes still goes on
and i got a nice lip gloss after searching for many shops
hoho! :)
12.50 as compared to the 30 dollars ones i saw

oh well
been a busy weekend
and the working begins tomorrow
and tuition
and the mad morning rush just repeats
again and again
:(

today was a crappy day
woke up feeling crappy
took my time to go to work
but i was still early lah :)

den while removing my plaster
i tore apart my wound again
and it bled
nonstop

same as always
no plaster at office
i cheong to nearest 7-11
and got my plaster
applied antiseptic
it still hurts
cos i keep pressing on wound accidentally or hitting it

think i having pms
seriously
dont ask me y im so mooody
i just feel low low low
way low
and i dunno how to tell

and accounts is making me really frustrated

even the nice teh~si nearby doesnt cheer me up

how
i need to cheer up
tomorrow is friday
start of long weekend
and im feeling crappish already :(

haiz

hmmm a much better day no cutting of myself no missing of lunches no getting lost quite ok, at least for now now its the second part of my day with me doing accounts tough job but its really good tt i get exposed to new things and get to learn :) learning abt debit and credit stuff makes me wanna pull out my hair but well, at least i get to do something different everyday but im very very loaded *dead beat* but contented :) work keeps me going!

didnt have an awesome day as i had hoped to
went out at 8am, hoping to reach office earlier
instead of having to rush all the way from raffles place to equity place in the mad rush
managed to squeeze into the train
but still in the monotony slow snail speed i was only able to reach raffles place 5 mins earlier
and with the mad white collared rush and the click clacks of heels in the morning
i was only on time
sigh
so much for planning

currently working from 9-1pm for an events company,
then 2-6 for another company where i do accounts

early in morning whilst i was cutting papers for name tags with the penknife
i sliced thru my left finger
then i *stunned*
the blood flowed
and flowed

then i rushed to the toilet which has the lock which is faulty,
with a dripping bloody hand and a shaky right hand
i looked so pathetic trying to open the door
a kind woman helped me open
then while i let my bloody finger run under the tap
the lady also *stunned*
then she look at me and ask me ''how?''
and the blood just flowed and filled the basin
it hurt
and still does
especially now with it bandaged
but i have changed 3 plasters already
as the other 2 were blood soaked
it is still thumping in pain
and i cant type properly as well

den at 1 i was supposed to have lunch
den had to settle the telegraphic transfer
had to walk from one end to the other end to hsbc bank
and to protect the papers from getting wet in the rain where i had no umbrella
i had to handle the transfer papers, my hp, my wallet, my stuff to post in letter box
and i lost my way as well
cos i was not familiar with raffles place as well
drenched, cold and hungry
supposed to meet tressa but it was 130 already
sorry ger
:(

den after settling my stuff i didnt have time to grab food
cos i had to walk back
and yes, find my way
had to call my colleague who is a really cool and nice lady
she's 24 and really nice
thank goodness for her
i got home
and not much of a lunch is there

then with my finger still aching,
had to do accounts
and my collegaue was busy cos hes on leave for next 3 days
and as i am supposed to cover for all the ppl
i have work really covered up to my neck
cna hardly find my desk

and i had to have tuition from 730-900
and tomorrow again
and the cycle repeats for tomorrow too

9-9
did i say i am extremely tired and my finger still hurts?
and tomorrow its horror again

*dead tired*

3 boys and a girl! look like blood sister and brothers :D

jon,my 2nd sis,me, my mum, my 3rd sis, sean, my 4th sis n little sheryl in front :)

my darlings!

drunken prawns!!!!!!!!!!!!! :D hohoho..my favourite...

me and my boy ;)

- grins-

sticky chewy choc with a bday candle! :)

yums yums *roars*

me xunyi daphne and shijia..

super star steve in the making

gan me and gav

very touched...

blue, my favourite colour =)

beyond paradise, beyond happiness :)

the 8 blue roses made my day!! =)

the cool purple watch the guys for me! :D

wow =)
what can i say...
this has been one of the best birthdays i had..


celebrating jacyln, sy and my birthday during kaetna chalet from 9-11 may
fighting xiao qiangs, lots of bbqing, many dirty jokes [yes, thanks to me :) ]
mac donald's breakfast for two consecutive days, with muffins for the 2nd day at least
and loud hysterical laughters
and of course, priceless photos and memories =)
and many many thanks for estee lauder's beyond paradise
which i lusted after for very long!!
thanks tressa for remembering ;) *hugs*

13 may 2005
went eski bar and chilled out
was a really really nice place
had lychee martini, sleepying polar beer and some house cocktail
was really cold with 3 degrees C temperature
*brrrrrrr*
before tt was at swensons with my sticky chewy chocolate!!
and with a surprising candle
thank you =)

14 may 2005
had alumni meeting from 11-3
was good to see the graduated ppl from pjc work together on this project
we had some headstart (thankfully, after sitting together for so long)
well, its finalised mostly! thats what matters :)

and pjc ppl reading this, there is a PJC alumni sleepover on 4th June (Sat) at PJ... $10 inclusive of dinner, activies, supper, movie marathon! do check details out at www.pac.org.sg for sleepover details.. registration deadline on 25 may! please pass the word around and gather with all ur friends!! Call along ur ex-CT or teachers :)

after which i went to cineleisure to meet xunyi, daphne
and i got a surprise to see yiyan and eric there as well..
and i saw that they all carried a stalk of blue roses each
and here i have to thank the nicest and best purple monster in the world justin lim :)
he informed all my friends before he left for aussie to give me a blue rose each for my birthday when they meet me
because my favourite flower is blue rose!
*very very touched*
and yes, all my friends did exactly that.. including grace who couldnt make it but passed it to xunyi..
and ppl who couldnt meet me told me that there is a very sweeet purple monster who planned all these for me..
imagine my surprise =)
we ate at pasta mania where eric (my sec1-2 classmate) whipped out this suppppeer old school photo of us at malacca..
goodness.. i look like a monster
and his opening lines behind the photo was ''just to let u know how u looked like 7 years ago..''
haha
yup, and i was the butt of the joke lor..
haha
anyway
i really really really had a great time catching up with them
laughing so hard my eyes almost rolled off
took lots of photos which i will upload later
and felt like it was the good old times in 4m again
so much has happened and we have all changed
but im really glad tt we are still in touch and able to talk! :)
and thanks to the sweet gers daphne shijia xunyi joyce
who took pains to give me my bday card
where daphne and joyce were happily laughing and writing in the toilet cubicle..
totally amusing
but very very appreciated
thank u my dearest gers :)

then i rushed to chevrons with the 8 blue roses in my hand at 730
joined steve matt kenn and gavin for dinner
:) laughed like mad at steve's knife licking and other antics
-_-
but super destressing hanging out with these super funny people
steve treated dinner and it was really sweet of him :)
and of course, thanks for the nice nice purple watch from 25 hrs :)
i like it very very much...
*very touched*

9pm-2.45am we were in chevron's karaoke singing our chests out
took lots of photos cos superstar steve had lots and lots of poses
everyone like super high =)
then philip and gan joined us at 11 like that
heard from steve who said tt philip tot i liked purple roses and the guys were at a loss whether to find purple roses.. haha
yup, and justin called and so the phone was passed around the room where everyone talked to him over long distance.. yup..
philip, shufen, gan, shiyang, yanjie got me a white bikini!
woohoo!
haha
exactly what i wanted!!
but i need to lose the fats first
*sigh*

but it was really really a birthday well spent with lots of catching up, quality time and happy memories :)
felt like a princess... really did! :) *beams*

and this morning 15 may 2005
went out with my family for brunch at zi yean restaurant at stirling road
its those zhi char thingy but really nice food
and the best thing is i have my family with me
thats what matters the most =)

my dad or my brother-in-law wasnt around immersing in the family warmth and they never will be
but i know
they are in the heavens looking down at all of us
and protecting us, always.

and yup, we went to jurong library together after that
with e adults in the kids section
and me looking like an oversized kid
remembering all the good old days i borrowed 12 books home to read
*shakes head*
those were the days

and yup
went home to type minutes for alumni meeting to rush for shiyang
then i took cab with my 3rd sis with sean n sheryl to jp where i went to collect my air ticket and they went home
and then it was tuition with my kid til now
i have started on a 9-5 admin/design/accounts/write cheques/open mailbox/bank cheques/do telegraphic transfer/everything also must do job, officially starting on monday at equity plaza, raffles place
tressa, lunch at 1 anyday? :)

yup, this one whole week has really been very very nice
my blog is no longer as bleak as it was
:)
thank u my dearest friends for making my birthday so special and making me feel very loved and blessed =)
thanks for every everything, ur patience, friendships, love, effort and time
and thank u again purple monster for the sweetest thing u have done! :)

im a happy fat old monster! :)

i appreciate and love each and all of u! :)

the may birthday gers! sy, me and jac! *taurean mooo*

cant help but feel big and fat beside gsy the resident hello kitty

A for Allys :)

Derek and his best fren Ronnie - catching up on old times at 2am

bianca and me... old school eh? ;)

cheers was closed :( so we did a little pole dance! hoho...

i am a monSTAR! =D

me and teresa - say cheeeeeeese!

Z monster attacks us! =)

back from kaetna chalet..
we didnt do much.. no cycling, no swimming, no blading
but i really felt that it was a fulfilling one
full of laughter, hilarious xiao qiang imposter shots, bonding of kaetna
and of course real xiao qiangs and ghosts in Fatal Frame II tt made us jump
yes, literally in the air!
bbq was fun.. everyone sat down and really had lots of fun..
we had annie the best cook in the world with jerry the massager
shiang and steph da camera man and derek da impersonator!
=)
plus teresa the laughter generator, gsy the hello kitty, julia the act dao face and mei na's pose with ronnie! jacyln with her drop ice antics.. *stunned* and sy's fascination with fishballs!
thank u guys for making it such a memorable chalet and for the sweet card and present =)

went to my good friend's father's wake today
the mood was sombre, painful and mourning
stepping into singapore casket brought waves of fresh memories

my friend was badly shaken
a sudden death - who would have thought of it?
that perhaps ur goodbye to ur loved one would be the last?

attended the service with hymns and prayers said
im not a christian but i felt so much for them

when we were allowed to walk around the coffin and pay respects to her dad
part of me was not ready yet

u know how painful it still is?

i allowed my eyes to look inside
i couldnt bear to look at the face
so i saw her father's hands clasped tightly together
it was enough of a sight

i hugged my friend really tight
this kind of pain is needless, painful and agonizing

i teared along with her

but i wiped it away silently

i pray for u, my dear friend.

have small red plotches on my skin
at first this new doc told me i was having insect bites
but it went worst
now its making me very uncomfortable
went back to my old doc
i have allergy
which pops up when im stressed
i had to take a jab
tot it was gonna be painless
but now my left arm aches
and its numb and cant move
so painful
and its making me drowsy
and i cant lift my arm..

sigh.

typing with one right hand only.

chinese birthday today
didnt know about it until
my mum cooked my vermicelli