张靓颖 如果这就是爱情


你做了选择 对的错的

我只能承认 心是痛的

怀疑你舍得 我被伤的那么深

就放声哭了 何必再强忍

我没有选择 我不再完整

原来最后的吻 如此冰冷

你只能默认 我要被割舍

眼看着 你走了

如果这不是结局 如果我还爱你

如果我愿相信 你就是唯一

如果你听到这里 如果你依然放弃

那这就是爱情 我难以抗拒

如果这就是爱情 本来就不公平

你不需要讲理 我可以离去

如果我成全了你 如果我能祝福你

那不是我看清 是我证明 我爱你

灰色的天空 无法猜透

多余的眼泪 无法挽留

什么都牵动 感觉真的好脆弱

被呵护的人 原来不是我

我不要你走 我不想放手

却又不能够奢求 同情的温柔

你可以自由 我愿意承受

把昨天 留给我

Gorgeous

Insomnia returns - with its successful sequels

 

The concept of Sleep has successfully joined the concept of Love, in all its elusiveness and disappointments.

The more you try to shut them peepers tight to force yourself into snoozy-land, the more frustrated you become - your thoughts all jumping around, flashbacks all abound, but that tinge of sleepiness nowhere to be found.

Make yourself physically exhausted by turtle-swimming in the pool? Checked.

Make yourself mentally tired by reading heavy duty stuff (coupled with bad reading light, cold thunderous weather, and a turtle-speed processor)? Checked.

It took me 1.5 hours to fall asleep last night, from 5.30am.

I think the worst things to lose in life are indeed your soul, your mind and your sleep.

Zzzzzz,

Izzy

One year hiatus

Time flies, and it's been more than a year since I last penned my random thoughts on this blog.

This must have been the longest since I ever stopped writing - seems to be rather reflective of my state of mind in the past year: all over the place and sorting out thoughts.

And what a year it has been.

Another chapter has closed for me, as I move on away from my comfort zone, in that cushy chair surrounded by piles of concept papers, evaluation reports, minutes (groans), presentation slides, files and my trusty old computer, to a smaller yet less cosy environment enclosed in a glass tank. I made this choice - and apprehensive as I may be, I will (have to) deal with it. Hopefully, strongly though.

And while lies perpetuate still amongst your circle of friends and colleagues about my psychotic bitchiness, friendships forged will only unravel the truths, layer by layers, shreds by shreds -

who ARE you?

Or rather, who are you trying to pretend? What are you trying to hide from?

Everyone has a past, or pasts, for that matter - you cower in that cob-webbed corner of yours, spun by the incessant layers of filthy half-truths (i dont deny i can be a bitch sometimes) or complete lies, hiding behind the thick books you pride yourself on having read before, covered loosely by the white curtain stained with tears.

I don't care about you anymore, neither should you - so please, grow up and stop blaming the whole world for your past regrets/mistakes/etc, and victimizing yourself.

I don't see how spreading rumours/truths that exist in your head to your friends or colleagues who don't even know me is going to make you seem a more acceptable or likeable person. Is this what they teach you in your profession - giving up your responsibilities or to the extent of character assassination?

Your colleagues/friends will not give a damn about what happened between us - in fact, they can't even be bothered about a name that they can't put a face to/ have not even spoken to - so why stoop so lowly?

Move on with your sweetly nectared life, and get a grip.

And remember, karma bites you back in the ass.

*calms down*

Those irritants aside, I have been trying to deal with the extra time on my hands - it's funny how you don't really know how to handle the precious amount of time you've been beggin' for.

Almost one week left, here's hoping that more will be accomplished and I will be ready for the next phase of my life.

And with that, it's time to catch some sleep - before I turn grouchier.

Joining the bed bugs,
Izzy