On getting it right all the time

Photo credit: www.notonthehighstreet.com

I've been thinking quite a lot, and wondering if this fixation with perfection seems to originate from the control freak inside me, or something that the society perpetuates through its various platforms - media, norms and the like.

Is it more important to be right all the time, or is it better to make mistakes and learn along the way?

Say, is there something called Mr Right?

Having been through waves of ups and downs in relationships, I think I have figured out my answer...

...which is no.

From the way I see it, it's always about a balance of compromise and acceptance.

Compromise to strike a balance between both parties' needs/wants/interests/desires, while accepting that the other party is different.

I have to say that it's always easier to compromise than to accept, because acknowledging that our significant others are really different from us, and we cannot change this fact nor change their personalities is a huge, huge challenge.

I link this to the incessant search for perfection, often selfishly to suit our own individual needs.

Dan and I are worlds apart, if you know us personally.

I itch to travel ever so often, I cannot sit still and I get bored within a snap of the fingers. I love to read and write, and my idea of a good time is getting out of the house.

He loves cars, games, and all things gadgets. Extremely homely, he is contented to have his loved ones with him at his personal comfort zone at home.

But we find a common line - where we enjoy each other's company and keep our individuality :)

Along the years, I have come to appreciate this... more than I ever did in my young, dramatic years... and something tells me that I have become better in this aspect and have learned to let things go more easily...

If anything, Dan has taught me not to fret over things I am not able to control, to keep my chins up no matter how daunting things can be, not to glare at people who walk too slowly...  learn to organise my stuff better (I'm appalled and ashamed at how neat and organised he is, compared to me!) and more importantly, to not want to control everything.

It's quite tough really, but along the years, he has also learned the best way to help me understand and relax, the only way he knows how (and the way that miffs me always) - make me laugh at how silly my fears are.

Sometimes, I really wish I could live life like him, bravely in the face of adversity, unfaltering in the faces of naysayers, while I put on a pretense that I'm really brave, only to grab off this mask at the comfort of my home and feeling extremely exhausted at the facades that I'm capable of pulling through (but draining me entirely...).

Recently, he has put his apron on again, and whipped up a lot of yummy dishes which have surprised me and made me very blessed.  

Sadly, I know that I do not have the patience like he has... to whip up lovely yummies, and therefore I am always grateful for his love. One day, I hope that with our new house coming, I can surprise him with some simple (read: won't cause me to burn the house down) food!

In the past, I used to think that loving someone seems to be very easy... but as I grow older, I realise that it must be a combined effort...and I'm happy to say that I've kinda gotten the hang of it :)

"My face in thine eye, thine in mine appears,And true plain hearts do in the faces rest;

Where can we find two better hemispheres,

Without sharp north, without declining west?

Whatever dies, was not mixed equally;

If our two loves be one, or, thou and I

Love so alike, that none do slacken, none can die."

~ John Donne