something made me smile today!
=) realised that i could apply for the Singapore Exchange Award
which can ease a huge load off my shoulders
with the award dishing out up to 4000 euros for my uk trip in september..
and if i get it *keeps fingers crossed*
it will be about 8000 dollars off my mind!
then ill have to slog for the rest of the 7000 dollars!
:)
good news still! :)
Monday, February 27, 2006
Sunday, February 26, 2006
i'm back!
back from the craziest thing i've done in my whole life!
not quite the craziest actually, but nearly there..
=)
in a matter of less than 3 days, me and my sec sch gd fren corinne decided to embark on a 4 day trip to western australia, perth from 21 - 24 february
her to have a really good break and meet up with her fren
and me to really take a breather from all the work im buried in!
so it was such a sudden trip
and ticket and accomodation were settled by her first as the most impt thing was to plan and get there asap while mid term break was still in the midst of going on.
was really apprehensive abt going australia again, honestly
after the less than half a year trip to brisbane in july last year
to fulfil the craziest plan i designed to meet up with justin for 3 weeks
all alone
all arranged and booked myself
all crazy but very excited
i could almost feel the excitement tingling in my bones when i saw the glimmer in her eyes for an independent trip(at least without the parents) and i could see myself then.
looking at her plan everything was seeing myself back then again.
and it wasnt too long ago actually.
thats what made me feel the ache.
the little me all psyched up
it made me smile, perhaps a wry smile, but it just reminded me of things were just a short while ago.
things that i'd never have the energy or passion to do again.
i wasnt quite sure how i'd take this trip
wasnt sure if i was ready to go to aussie again
it might certainly sound silly
but being the sentimental fool i am, the evoking of blessed memories, all just to catch glimpses of my then bf, would not be too beneficial.
plus i never expected to go aussie again so soon after the break up,
and all the more i didnt expect to go aussie again, with us already broken up
and it reminded me how blissful things were in brisbane and
how i never realised my last hug and wave goodbye to him at the brisbane airport were really the last for us.
but i guess i still have to face up to reality
and probably my last aussie trip after the break up (less of a reason to go there, but not completely none) and my student exchange to uk in about half a year's time... simply because i will be way tooo broke after everything to travel
so well, yes i agreed to a mini trip where i really wanted to get away to clear my cluttered brains.
=)
so boarded a 1am flight- first time taking a Spore Airlines flight with previous trips to brisbane taking quantas (with family) and emirates(myself).
the flight was honestly an uneasy and queasy one.
i know i wasnt gonna meet him there, and i know it was not gonna be the sunny brisbane that would greet me.
but somehow...
deja vu, faded memories, whatever-u-call-it
just filled my mind.
i couldnt get to sleep just like the last time, but this time not because i was apprehensive how it was like to wonder how he'd react to my visit and how tear invoking it would be to see and embrace someone i loved at the brisbane air port
but more of a i-wish-i-could-forget-the-excitement-i-felt-since-its-all-over feeling.
it made me sad.
plus there were two meals served and i couldnt get any sleep in.
so i jus tossed and turned (not much though- how much could i move in a small seat with little breathing space?)
caught myself looking around for him when i reached the airport with corinne (i know i was silly) but its just deja-vu or the i-know-ive-been-thru-this kinda feeling.
its sort of hard to explain, unless u've been in my shoes
and plus im super sentimental
so it doesnt really help, i guess.
aaron, corinne's friend, came to pick us up and i gave a weak smile.
i guess i was worn out by the flight which was interrupted by flitting disturbing thoughts and incessant greetings to have a drink or my food by the trademark of SIA that wasnt very appreciated in my struggle to fall asleep...
but i kinda warmed up to him slowly
and he was the bestest host ive ever had, bringing us around the next 4 days in his coolest bmw 5 series with an awesome sunroof!
im totally amazed by it cos its so cool!
its got the coolest technology with acute sensors by the side, tracking devices and infrared sensing technology to sniff out speed cameras which will warn u aptly! how cool is that! plus the technology is 5 years old..... and so.. im so totally amazed.
and thru out the trip, i really felt like a ten year old kid
asking and gaping at sights that can never be found in singapore.
the scorching sun and cold nice weather and wind, 17 degrees temperature, beautiful rapids and awe-inspiring hills, the swan river, a slow yet nice pace of life, gracious service, beautiful beach with waves that wash me to the shore... all so nice.
i guess i could do with a huge amount of mugging in this mid term break but i did bring my work there to assuage my guilt of holidaying in a supposedly study break.
but seriously, this was really a much needed break required internally by ms superwoman-wannabe here because ive had too many things i tried to cope with plus ive been ignoring how i truly felt inside. just that i didnt know i needed a break away.
from school, from tuition which i spend a good 8 hours each on Sats and Sundays, the messy affairs of the heart, everything everything else which deserves my undivided attention but not now.
but most importantly,
i honestly can say this trip did me lots of good cos it gave me lots of air and liberation from whatever i had held too closely and helped me to think thru things and breathe with the time i had alone shopping or in the hotel studying.
i never had a clearer mind of what i ever wanted and what i needed to do.
that is to study, get my first class honours,
travel around the world, make a difference to ppl's lives.
that is what i envisage now.
and of course the most important thing is still my family and friends.
thats all that matter to me.
because if we go through our lives looking over our shoulders,
we end up missing what lies ahead.
and one thing i'm grateful is that im honest about how i feel finally, instead of hiding behind facades of masks which deny all my unhappiness.
ive left everything behind back in the hotel room in perth after revealing my feelings
and its all over.
im really recharged and all ready to face the challenges.
bring it on.
*roars*
a little more ready to face the intimidating chunks of essays and projects that await me.
=)
back from the craziest thing i've done in my whole life!
not quite the craziest actually, but nearly there..
=)
in a matter of less than 3 days, me and my sec sch gd fren corinne decided to embark on a 4 day trip to western australia, perth from 21 - 24 february
her to have a really good break and meet up with her fren
and me to really take a breather from all the work im buried in!
so it was such a sudden trip
and ticket and accomodation were settled by her first as the most impt thing was to plan and get there asap while mid term break was still in the midst of going on.
was really apprehensive abt going australia again, honestly
after the less than half a year trip to brisbane in july last year
to fulfil the craziest plan i designed to meet up with justin for 3 weeks
all alone
all arranged and booked myself
all crazy but very excited
i could almost feel the excitement tingling in my bones when i saw the glimmer in her eyes for an independent trip(at least without the parents) and i could see myself then.
looking at her plan everything was seeing myself back then again.
and it wasnt too long ago actually.
thats what made me feel the ache.
the little me all psyched up
it made me smile, perhaps a wry smile, but it just reminded me of things were just a short while ago.
things that i'd never have the energy or passion to do again.
i wasnt quite sure how i'd take this trip
wasnt sure if i was ready to go to aussie again
it might certainly sound silly
but being the sentimental fool i am, the evoking of blessed memories, all just to catch glimpses of my then bf, would not be too beneficial.
plus i never expected to go aussie again so soon after the break up,
and all the more i didnt expect to go aussie again, with us already broken up
and it reminded me how blissful things were in brisbane and
how i never realised my last hug and wave goodbye to him at the brisbane airport were really the last for us.
but i guess i still have to face up to reality
and probably my last aussie trip after the break up (less of a reason to go there, but not completely none) and my student exchange to uk in about half a year's time... simply because i will be way tooo broke after everything to travel
so well, yes i agreed to a mini trip where i really wanted to get away to clear my cluttered brains.
=)
so boarded a 1am flight- first time taking a Spore Airlines flight with previous trips to brisbane taking quantas (with family) and emirates(myself).
the flight was honestly an uneasy and queasy one.
i know i wasnt gonna meet him there, and i know it was not gonna be the sunny brisbane that would greet me.
but somehow...
deja vu, faded memories, whatever-u-call-it
just filled my mind.
i couldnt get to sleep just like the last time, but this time not because i was apprehensive how it was like to wonder how he'd react to my visit and how tear invoking it would be to see and embrace someone i loved at the brisbane air port
but more of a i-wish-i-could-forget-the-excitement-i-felt-since-its-all-over feeling.
it made me sad.
plus there were two meals served and i couldnt get any sleep in.
so i jus tossed and turned (not much though- how much could i move in a small seat with little breathing space?)
caught myself looking around for him when i reached the airport with corinne (i know i was silly) but its just deja-vu or the i-know-ive-been-thru-this kinda feeling.
its sort of hard to explain, unless u've been in my shoes
and plus im super sentimental
so it doesnt really help, i guess.
aaron, corinne's friend, came to pick us up and i gave a weak smile.
i guess i was worn out by the flight which was interrupted by flitting disturbing thoughts and incessant greetings to have a drink or my food by the trademark of SIA that wasnt very appreciated in my struggle to fall asleep...
but i kinda warmed up to him slowly
and he was the bestest host ive ever had, bringing us around the next 4 days in his coolest bmw 5 series with an awesome sunroof!
im totally amazed by it cos its so cool!
its got the coolest technology with acute sensors by the side, tracking devices and infrared sensing technology to sniff out speed cameras which will warn u aptly! how cool is that! plus the technology is 5 years old..... and so.. im so totally amazed.
and thru out the trip, i really felt like a ten year old kid
asking and gaping at sights that can never be found in singapore.
the scorching sun and cold nice weather and wind, 17 degrees temperature, beautiful rapids and awe-inspiring hills, the swan river, a slow yet nice pace of life, gracious service, beautiful beach with waves that wash me to the shore... all so nice.
i guess i could do with a huge amount of mugging in this mid term break but i did bring my work there to assuage my guilt of holidaying in a supposedly study break.
but seriously, this was really a much needed break required internally by ms superwoman-wannabe here because ive had too many things i tried to cope with plus ive been ignoring how i truly felt inside. just that i didnt know i needed a break away.
from school, from tuition which i spend a good 8 hours each on Sats and Sundays, the messy affairs of the heart, everything everything else which deserves my undivided attention but not now.
but most importantly,
i honestly can say this trip did me lots of good cos it gave me lots of air and liberation from whatever i had held too closely and helped me to think thru things and breathe with the time i had alone shopping or in the hotel studying.
i never had a clearer mind of what i ever wanted and what i needed to do.
that is to study, get my first class honours,
travel around the world, make a difference to ppl's lives.
that is what i envisage now.
and of course the most important thing is still my family and friends.
thats all that matter to me.
because if we go through our lives looking over our shoulders,
we end up missing what lies ahead.
and one thing i'm grateful is that im honest about how i feel finally, instead of hiding behind facades of masks which deny all my unhappiness.
ive left everything behind back in the hotel room in perth after revealing my feelings
and its all over.
im really recharged and all ready to face the challenges.
bring it on.
*roars*
a little more ready to face the intimidating chunks of essays and projects that await me.
=)
Monday, February 20, 2006
:) everyone's doing this, but heck,
just for the fun of it, do this for me k? :)
http://kevan.org/johari?name=izzybelle
just for the fun of it, do this for me k? :)
http://kevan.org/johari?name=izzybelle
Friday, February 17, 2006
i fingered the petals of the orangy red daisies - beautiful.
i took a sniff- sweet smelling flowers.
u always, always loved flowers:
planting them, watering them, pruning them.
always a lover of nature, always a camera in hand to capture the most real and natural moments in life.
but what they say is correct:
tombstones cannot appreciate flowers.
whats the use of getting u flowers when u are gone, away from us?
my eyes caught a glimpse of a beautiful blooming rose, bursting with love and passion.
could recognise it was the much-hailed about Holland rose.
i smiled, and pointed to the guy in the shop.
one of this beauty, in pink, for my mum,
who loves me unconditionally, always and all ways. :)
i want to let her know i love her always
and it might not just be valentine's day (or post V day, for that matter)
but just one of the everyday i love and cherish her.
its ur one year anniversary kor.
i wish u were back here with us.
i really do wish.
i wish i was not the one buying ur favourite flowers,
only to put them on your altar
where u cannot smell the scent, or touch the soft silky petals or see for yourself with your bright kind eyes.
flowers for u in theory,
but only to make myself feel better that u get to have ur favourite things given to you.
i miss you very very much kor.
<3.
i took a sniff- sweet smelling flowers.
u always, always loved flowers:
planting them, watering them, pruning them.
always a lover of nature, always a camera in hand to capture the most real and natural moments in life.
but what they say is correct:
tombstones cannot appreciate flowers.
whats the use of getting u flowers when u are gone, away from us?
my eyes caught a glimpse of a beautiful blooming rose, bursting with love and passion.
could recognise it was the much-hailed about Holland rose.
i smiled, and pointed to the guy in the shop.
one of this beauty, in pink, for my mum,
who loves me unconditionally, always and all ways. :)
i want to let her know i love her always
and it might not just be valentine's day (or post V day, for that matter)
but just one of the everyday i love and cherish her.
its ur one year anniversary kor.
i wish u were back here with us.
i really do wish.
i wish i was not the one buying ur favourite flowers,
only to put them on your altar
where u cannot smell the scent, or touch the soft silky petals or see for yourself with your bright kind eyes.
flowers for u in theory,
but only to make myself feel better that u get to have ur favourite things given to you.
i miss you very very much kor.
<3.
Thursday, February 16, 2006
I'm really special.
How do I know I'm special?
Cos today my doc diagnosed me with Alpha Thalassemia Minor. With only 3% in countries like India, China and Singapore having this blood disease, I had better be special.
Here's Wikipedia's definition of Thalessemia:
___________________________________________________________________
(Thalassemia (American English) (or thalassaemia in British English) is an inherited disease of the red blood cells, classified as a hemoglobinopathy. The genetic defect results in synthesis of an abnormal hemoglobin molecule. The blood cells are vulnerable to mechanical injury and die easily. To survive, many people with thalassaemia need blood transfusions at regular intervals.
The disease's geographical association with the Mediterranean sea was responsible for its naming: Thalassa is Greek for the sea, Haima is Greek for blood. Thalassemia occurs in all populations and ethnic groups, however the prevalence differs among different populations. )
Thalassemia Minor:
Contrary to popular belief, Thalassemia Minor patients should not avoid iron-rich foods by default. A serum ferritin test can determine what their iron levels are and guide them to further treatment if necessary. Thalassemia Minor, although not life threatening on its own, can affect quality of life due to the effects of a mild to moderate anemia. Studies have shown that thalassemia Minor often coexists with other diseases such as asthma [2], and even bipolar disorder [3].
_____________________________________________________________
Thalessemia Minor patients should not avoid iron-rich foods and coincidentally, I live and breathe for seafood like mussels, oysters and clams :) Now an added excuse to eat my world's favouritest food and just shrug away Hepatitis possibilities.
The most amazing thing is my best bud happens to have Congenital Spherocytosis: a blood disease even much much more rarer than mine. It is caused by a molecular defect in one or more proteins of the red blood cells.
There is this joke between us now that we can NEVER get married cos our inherent blood diseases will cause defects in the poor child.
So as you can see, me and my best bud are very special indeed.
How do I know I'm special?
Cos today my doc diagnosed me with Alpha Thalassemia Minor. With only 3% in countries like India, China and Singapore having this blood disease, I had better be special.
Here's Wikipedia's definition of Thalessemia:
___________________________________________________________________
(Thalassemia (American English) (or thalassaemia in British English) is an inherited disease of the red blood cells, classified as a hemoglobinopathy. The genetic defect results in synthesis of an abnormal hemoglobin molecule. The blood cells are vulnerable to mechanical injury and die easily. To survive, many people with thalassaemia need blood transfusions at regular intervals.
The disease's geographical association with the Mediterranean sea was responsible for its naming: Thalassa is Greek for the sea, Haima is Greek for blood. Thalassemia occurs in all populations and ethnic groups, however the prevalence differs among different populations. )
Thalassemia Minor:
Contrary to popular belief, Thalassemia Minor patients should not avoid iron-rich foods by default. A serum ferritin test can determine what their iron levels are and guide them to further treatment if necessary. Thalassemia Minor, although not life threatening on its own, can affect quality of life due to the effects of a mild to moderate anemia. Studies have shown that thalassemia Minor often coexists with other diseases such as asthma [2], and even bipolar disorder [3].
_____________________________________________________________
Thalessemia Minor patients should not avoid iron-rich foods and coincidentally, I live and breathe for seafood like mussels, oysters and clams :) Now an added excuse to eat my world's favouritest food and just shrug away Hepatitis possibilities.
The most amazing thing is my best bud happens to have Congenital Spherocytosis: a blood disease even much much more rarer than mine. It is caused by a molecular defect in one or more proteins of the red blood cells.
There is this joke between us now that we can NEVER get married cos our inherent blood diseases will cause defects in the poor child.
So as you can see, me and my best bud are very special indeed.
Wednesday, February 08, 2006
and with a limp twisted ankle,
i managed to arrive at ananda, paragon to await the news of the l'oreal brandstorm competition.
dressed confidently and smiling,
i knew i was alone as compared to other teams
but i knew my two girls were right beside me in spirit.
but our name wasnt called up and i hate to be the one to break the bad news :(
we didnt make it for the second round, but this time it was a real eye-opener.
the late night rush, fruits for breakfast lunch dinner (repeat 4 nites), the 100 pages report of our precious work..
not down the drain, but very disappointing :(
and next year i cant try again, cos i wont be in singapore.
been trying to do up my room, to give a fresh new touch to it.
first of all, i must start by staying home more. :)
be focused girl. im way behind school work.
okay, so maybe im not doing much about it.
but problem recognition will get me somewhere right?
haha.. i feel myself coming up with excuses again.
:)
procrastinator me.
i managed to arrive at ananda, paragon to await the news of the l'oreal brandstorm competition.
dressed confidently and smiling,
i knew i was alone as compared to other teams
but i knew my two girls were right beside me in spirit.
but our name wasnt called up and i hate to be the one to break the bad news :(
we didnt make it for the second round, but this time it was a real eye-opener.
the late night rush, fruits for breakfast lunch dinner (repeat 4 nites), the 100 pages report of our precious work..
not down the drain, but very disappointing :(
and next year i cant try again, cos i wont be in singapore.
been trying to do up my room, to give a fresh new touch to it.
first of all, i must start by staying home more. :)
be focused girl. im way behind school work.
okay, so maybe im not doing much about it.
but problem recognition will get me somewhere right?
haha.. i feel myself coming up with excuses again.
:)
procrastinator me.
Tuesday, February 07, 2006
the kiss of the wind on my cheeks,
the orangy red sun which wants to say goodbye,
the sandy grains beneath my feet,
the calming beating of the waves upon the rocks
i ran towards the all too familiar bridge.
towards sunshine.
i smiled to mr sun,
u too know that i always want to be strong.
i want to be the one that runs towards the light,
and away from the darkness that frowns upon me.
i smiled to the sun
and paused running.
the wind carressed my cheeks gently,
patting my hair
telling me to continue in my journey..
no clear ending point,
but i am going somewhere.
the sun makes me smile.
i smile back at him - i want to grow stronger in the sun:)
just like a blooming sunflower.
x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x
the orangy red sun which wants to say goodbye,
the sandy grains beneath my feet,
the calming beating of the waves upon the rocks
i ran towards the all too familiar bridge.
towards sunshine.
i smiled to mr sun,
u too know that i always want to be strong.
i want to be the one that runs towards the light,
and away from the darkness that frowns upon me.
i smiled to the sun
and paused running.
the wind carressed my cheeks gently,
patting my hair
telling me to continue in my journey..
no clear ending point,
but i am going somewhere.
the sun makes me smile.
i smile back at him - i want to grow stronger in the sun:)
just like a blooming sunflower.
x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x
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