Today is my last day at work in Raffles Place.
I must say its a different feeling when I was dreading the fact that I had one more left after completing my two months.
Granted I was working to raise 15,000 SGD (read: 5000 pounds) for the SEP and I learned new stuff this time as well
But I hated the working environment so much that it made me really dread work
Working environment is the number one important factor to me
and even though the job is satisfying with me helping my clients
I felt I was capitalising on something that I really detested.
But I guess its really hard to explain.
Sigh.

Anyway
I got a little depressed recently cos things around me were falling apart..
relationships as one.
we were discussing how men could just change their faces once it all ended,
and i even had someone tell me in the face that
'look everything i told u, including me loving u, was said last week. it does not apply to today and after this anymore.'
it just scares me that people totally become another, once its over.
guess thats the difference between women and men
men are just more resolute, firm and bent on moving on
women just like torturing themselves.
no, just kidding of course.
women just are more prone to moments of weaknesses, beautiful memories and soft spots for the past which is actually really the past (read: never to happen again)
i may seem like im generalising but this is true for most women, and vice versas.

But its definitely scary how people can be very vulnerable once the big R is called off.
Big R, being Relationship..
And how we often feel we are stumped to the ground, unable tol move on because at that very particular moment, we feel that only that particular one person is capable of being The One, the one who has been with us at seemingly every moment..
and we dont realise at that moment, we forget all the quarrels, arguments, anger, flaws; all things negative are all thrown out of our mind..
and in the event that some of us find someone new, we dont realise whatever we felt has totally been disproved.
and if this cycle of break up and moving on continues,
u realise that after all
people do find someone better (or worst, in some really really special cases)
as they move on.

and yes, in 2 weeks' time,
ill be leaving for Frankfurt, Germany
and its my tour of Germany, Czech, Austria, UK, France, Italy, Spain and all
Its been a damn tough working time cos i have to raise 15000 dollars SGD which i am still desperately trying to do...
but its the satisfaction of getting what i chased after for.

i wish someday, that our hearts wouldnt hurt
when someone chooses to leave us
cos we'd realise that we need to love ourselves more
and that someone much much better is out there
waiting to see and love u the way
the person who left
didnt.