Alles gut!

When anyone asks me to go for a full body check up, this is my reaction:

Image credit: https://www.facebook.com/pages/Health-Place/350144495057144

Although I do wish I look this hideously cute when I wince at the thought of a full body check up.

After my 28th birthday, I decided to grab hold of the opportunity to go for the much feared body check up offered to my company (Norwegian companies have good welfare!) by ignoring the many obstacles I knew I would face.

1. I am afraid of needles (big or small, thin or thick)
2. I hate seeing blood
3. I hate small talk during the time of anguish when my blood is being drawn into the many test tubes (just get it over and done with!)
4. I hate people laughing at me when I overreact during the drawing of the blood

But the biggest obstacle is the fact that I do not want to know the results of the test.

Call this a death wish/counter intuitive/ironic, if you want... but having lost my father and my bro in law to cancer... the innate fear of checking my health and finding out the underlying problems scares me than all the ABOVE four reasons. Proof that this is a normal behaviour? Prof Stella Quah's medical sociology tutorial - apparently, family members who have had loved ones with medical issues (i.e. cancer) are less willing to go for health tests themselves, due to the fear as well as the pain of having seen their loved ones go through the treatments.... I'm not justifying my behaviour.

But anyway, the results are out today (but I hardly slept last night with the hypochondriac me imagining all the possible statements that the doctor would say..."I'm sorry but...", "I hate to be the one to break the news but..." or "Did you bring a family member with you...")!

It's all good! Okay, save for the fact that my cholesterol is sliggggggggggggggghtly higher than what it should be... BUT, I'm doing something about it! And I tried to impress the doctor by telling him I'm adopting a healthier lifestyle and all... my bad habit of not wanting to ever seem to be at fault/wrong/not perfect.

I'm really thankful that the results are actually better than I thought - except for my slight high cholesterol and the darn Thalassemia bugging me... The former, I can change, the doctor says... but Thalassemia-wise, he shrugged and told me to live with it and eat more livers... *shudders*

Now my corneas have fully recovered and my health screening a-okay, I feel less burdened and heavy (no pun intended) now, without having to sweep the worries of my health status under the carpet... I've been getting sick too often, the back hurting too much, whining like an old lady, but doing nothing about it...

Should have done my health check up earlier (my headstrong perfectionistic self speaking again...)!

But as always, hindsight is always 20/20. :)

Blessed,
Belly

Crash and burn

Burnt out...
Tired out...
Crashed out...

I feel like my feet are not mine anymore...
I think my mind has stopped thinking... (the irony of this sentence... )
I sense nothing anymore...

I need a breather...

But at least I know when you crash and burn,
you're not alone...

Zonked out,
Izzy

Rubber band

Stretched until it's taut,

Inching every way you can,

In all directions

Until the breaking point -

And then you let go.

And the rubber band lays there lifeless

Devoid of expression

Drained of energy

Denied of life.

The harder you throw, the further it bounces.

I'll remember.

Talk is cheap

... it indeed is cheap.

And surely, actions speak louder than words..
... do they?
Or are they even easier to stage...

... or perhaps, reading minds is tiring...