Last Two

I survived the first two exams, and two more...
The greatest bane of my life.... Uncle Chua's module...

*pulls hair out*

Izzy, this will be over soon... *repeats 100000 times*

i can't believe...

.... that the freaking exams for me start tomorrow!!

*takes deep breaths*

Like how I began my first sem in NUS, this last sem will see me going thru consecutive exams within a span of a week....

... and see me lose sleep, have panic attacks, and forget why I even bothered going to uni.

I hope I have the strength to pull through.

What doesn't kill makes us stronger...

wait.... "uncle" chua's module is a killer...

sigh.

A Sneak Preview

After an exhilarating rush of essays, I will now reward myself [and the readers] with a preview of the places we plan to visit in about... 19 days time... hopefully, this is motivational enough, for my next heap of readings and preparations for my exams....

First Stop: Milan

One of the largest cities in Italy, she is known as one of the world's capital of fashion and design.

The Commune di Milano (Duomo)

View from the top of the dome

Naviglio

Second Stop: Pisa

Known for its Leaning Tower, it's popular as day trips for tourists. We intend to stay here for one night, just to take it slower.

Leaning Tower of Pisa

Piazza del Miracoli

Third Stop: Florence

The municipal coat of arms of Florence. So pretty right?

According to our dearest friend, Wiki, the "Historic Centre of Florence" was declared a heritage site by UNESCO in 1982.

Ponte Vecchio, where it is the symbol of Florence. Apparently, it was the only bridge not destroyed by the Nazis when the Italians withdrew in 1944.

That's all for now. Lesson of the day? According to Arjun Appadurai, the power of the imagination is made possible by mass migration and electronic media in modernity. Therefore, I am imagining a life possible in Europe, and I am going to migrate there in the future!

=)

I'm so happy...

... I can jump for joy!!!!

I finally, finally, finally finished my last bloody term paper of NUS =)
Previously, this paper caused me so much pain in the posterior [in KJ's words] that I was so depressed about it.... words began running in my head, prancing and dancing and taunting me, i had absolutely no idea what to write, how to begin....

Now that I've gotten it over and done with,
I have the exams.
Sigh =(

Oh well, two more weeks... just two more... after which,
when thou has done, thou has no more.

=)

La fin!

It has been a hell week, for all of us in school.
Having two essays due a day,
topping that with a random high weightage test,
having to sleep on the benches in the dungeon,
been there, done that.

Finally churned out a semi-coherent paper on Second Life, and it is more of a relief to get it over and done with, than pure satisfaction with the high level of quality.
It is total madness going through day by day, in this cookie cutter.
And worse still, it's to get a freaking grade back.
I need an average of A- to maintain my CAP and my sanity, as well as everyone else's.
Please, let all these be worth it.
I'm sacrificing my darling sleep for work!

AND the most beautiful part is:
this is just the beginning. One more reading week, and the exams would have descended upon us.
How the hell did the past 7 semesters go by and why did I not remember the misery I put myself through?


Note to self: This misery will end. Repeat to self 10000000 times.
If convincing myself doesn't work, try to knock myself out.

ESFJ

The Portait of the Provider (ESFJ)

Provider Guardians take it upon themselves to arrange for the health and welfare of those in their care, but they are also the most sociable of all the Guardians, and thus are the great nurturers of established institutions such as schools, businesses, churches, social clubs, and civic groups. Wherever they go, Providers take up the role of social contributor, happily giving their time and energy to make sure that the needs of others are met, that traditions are supported and developed, and that social functions are a success.

Providers are very likely more than ten percent of the population, and this is very fortunate for the rest of us, because friendly social service is a key to their nature. Highly cooperative themselves, Providers are skilled in maintaining teamwork among their helpers, and are also tireless in their attention to the details of furnishing goods and services. They make excellent chairpersons in charge of social events. They are without peer as masters of ceremonies, able to approach others with ease and confidence, and seemingly aware of what everyone's been doing. And they are outstanding hosts or hostesses, able to remember people's names, usually after one introduction, and always concerned about the needs of their guests, wanting to insure that all are involved and provided for.

Providers are extremely sensitive to the feelings of others, which makes them perhaps the most sympathetic of all the types, but which also leaves them rather self-conscious, that is, highly sensitive to what others think of them. Because of this Providers can be crushed by personal criticism, and will work most effectively when given ample appreciation both for themselves personally and for the service they give to others. This is not to say that Providers are afraid to express their own emotional reactions. They are quick to like and dislike-and don't mind saying so-tending to put on a pedestal whatever or whoever they admire, and to come down hard on those people and issues they don't care for.

In their choice of careers, Providers may lean toward sales and service occupations. They have such pleasant, outgoing personalities that they are far and away the best sales reps, not only regularly winning sales contests, but earning seniority in any sales group within an organization. Observing Providers at work in a sales transaction reveals clearly how this type personalizes the sale. They are visibly-and honestly-concerned with their customer's welfare, and thus the customer is not simply buying the product, but is buying personally from the Provider. This same characteristic causes them to be good in many people-to-people jobs, as teachers, clergy, coaches, social workers, office receptionists, and so on. Providers seldom become a source of irritation in the workplace; on the contrary, they are unflagging in their devotion to their company, and show such personal loyalty to their immediate superiors that they make invaluable personal secretaries.

the way i am

it's the last lap, u tell urself incessantly
but u know the flames are wavering
you've burnt out
you've flickered
you've quivered
you've bowed down to the winds

you've thought of just not existing.

the wax glides down
drip by drip
and you


can't find yourself

Moi

360 Degree Personality

Your Personality Reading

You are a person prone to bouts of real self-examination. This is in sharp contrast to a striking ability you have developed to appear socially very engaged, even the life and soul of the party; but in a way that only convinces others. You are all too aware of it being a facade.

You will often be at a gathering and find yourself playing a part. While on the one hand you'll be talkative and funny, you'll be detaching yourself to the point where you will find yourself watching everything going on around you and feeling utterly unable to engage. You'll play conversations back to yourself in your head and wonder what that person really meant when he said such-and-such - conversations that other people wouldn't give a second thought to.

How have you learned to deal with this conflict? Though exercising control. You like to show a calm, self-assured, fluid kind of stability (but because this is self-consciously created, it will create bouts of frustrated silliness and a delight in extremes, or at least a delight in being seen to be extreme). You most easily recognize this control in how you are with people around you. You have learned to protect yourself by keeping people at bay. Because in the past you have learned to be disappointed by people (and because there were issues with you adjusting to your sexuality), you instinctively keep people at arms' length, until you decide they are to be allowed over that magic line into your group of close friends. However, once across that line, the problem is that an emotional dependency kicks in which leaves you feeling very hurt or rejected if it appears that they have betrayed that status.

Because you are prone to self-examination, you will be aware of these traits. However, you are unusually able to examine even that self-examination, which means that you have become concerned about what the real you is. You have become all too aware of facades, of sides of yourself which you present to the world, and you wonder if you have lost touch with the real and spontaneous you.

You are very creative, and have tried different avenues to utilize that ability. It may not be that you specifically, say, paint; it may be that your creativity shows itself in more subtle ways, but you will certainly find yourself having vivid and well-formed ideas which others will find hard to grasp. You set high standards for yourself, though, and in many ways are a bit of a perfectionist. The problem is, though, that it means you often don't get stuff done, because you are frustrated by the idea of mediocrity and are wearied by the idea of starting something afresh. However, once your brain is engaged you'll find yourself sailing. Very likely this will lead to you having considered writing a novel or some such, but a fear that you won't be able to achieve quite what you want stops you from getting on with it. But you have a real vision for things, which others fall short of. Particularly in your work situation, you are currently fighting against restraints upon your desire to express yourself freely.

Your relationsihp with your parents (there is a sense that one is no longer around, or at least emotionally very absent) is under some strain. You wish to remain fond of them but recent issues are causing frustration - from your side far more than theirs. In fact they seem unaware of your thoughts on the matter.

Partly this is because there are ways in which you have been made to feel isolated from certain groups in the past - something of an outsider. Now what is happening is that you are taking that outsider role and defending it to the point of consciously avoiding creative and work pursuits. You have an enormous cynicism towards those who prefer to be part of a group or who exhibit any cliquey behavior, and you always feel a pang of disappointment when you see your 'close' friends seeming to follow that route. Deep down it feels like rejection.

For all that introspection, you have developed a sensational, dry sense of humour that makes connections quickly and wittily and will leave you making jokes that go right over the heads of others. You delight in it so much that you'll often rehearse jokes or amusing voices to understand yourself in order to 'spontaneously' impress others with them. But this is a healthy desire to impress, and although you hate catching yourself at it, it's nothing to be so worried about.

You're naturally a little disorganized. A look around your living space would likely show a box of photos, unorganized into albums, out-of-date medicines, broken items not thrown out, and notes to yourself significantly out of date. Something related to this is that you tend to lack motivation. Because you're resourceful and talented enough to be pretty successful when you put your mind to things, this encourages you to procrastinate and put them off. Equally, you've given up dreams a little easily when your mind flitted elsewhere. There are signs of an excursion into playing a musical instrument, which you have since abandoned, or are finding yourself less interested in. You have a real capacity for deciding that such-and-such a thing (or so-and-so a person) will be the be all and end all of everything and be with you for ever. But you'd rather try and fail, and swing from one extreme to the other, than settle for the little that you see others content with.

Conclusion: You present something of a conundrum, which won't surprise you. You are certainly bright, but unusually open to life's possibiliites - something not normally found among achieving people. You would do well to be less self-absorbed, as it tends to distance you a little, and to relinquish some of the control you exercise when you present that stylized version of yourself to others. You could let people in a little more.

Nus (read: Noose)

The noose hangs
loosely
and
you
t
h
i
n
k
but
.. WHAT
ARD GOES
ARD AROUND
AND COMES
AROUND

Des etoiles? J'en veux plusieurs.

If I could measure the level of stress my friends and I are going through now,
I'd say it will overflow like billions of measuring beakers.

The end of school term is like this imminent bomb,
waiting to explode in your face,
before you can say,
"I-haven't-even-finished-my-essays!"

I've got so much readings to cover,
I wish I could just disappear.

In this pressure cooker,
I'm sure we'd all be fried alive.

Someone please stop the time.
Or
help me do my work.

Rewinding the days of my life

If I were to press "backwards" on the vcr playing the snippets of my life,
I would stop in my JC days.

True enough, JC days were unexpectedly fraught with ups and downs,
with major changes in my life,
but they were the best of my life.

I seldom comment on this part of my life,
which sometimes I really wish I can forget
because it's way too painful despite its sweetness.

It's hard to figure out how and why things turn out the way they do.
And just because I avoid meeting and talking,
it does not mean I have forgotten.

My JC times have made me who I am:
a melting pot of jadedness, craziness, courage and fear

I guess it has taken me too long
Way too long to remember
everything I have selectively forgotten.

I know things can never go back the same
I am no fool
But I would like a chance to apologize

It's too late for me to ramble on and on about my mistakes
but
I still am apologetic.

So if you know you are that person,
I'm sorry.
Let me say this to you in person.

Bonbons!

Wee Loon: J.O.A.T©®™ says: (3:09:10 PM)
"quand il pleut dans ton coeur, il pleut dans le mien"

C'est assez de me rendre rire =)
Merci!