If I were to press "backwards" on the vcr playing the snippets of my life,
I would stop in my JC days.
True enough, JC days were unexpectedly fraught with ups and downs,
with major changes in my life,
but they were the best of my life.
I seldom comment on this part of my life,
which sometimes I really wish I can forget
because it's way too painful despite its sweetness.
It's hard to figure out how and why things turn out the way they do.
And just because I avoid meeting and talking,
it does not mean I have forgotten.
My JC times have made me who I am:
a melting pot of jadedness, craziness, courage and fear
I guess it has taken me too long
Way too long to remember
everything I have selectively forgotten.
I know things can never go back the same
I am no fool
But I would like a chance to apologize
It's too late for me to ramble on and on about my mistakes
but
I still am apologetic.
So if you know you are that person,
I'm sorry.
Let me say this to you in person.
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