Changes

It seems that changes have been inevitable in the last 2 years, and for the most part, they were generally difficult to adapt to. Being resistant to changes (save for ideas when it comes to work), I think I have been rather hard on myself, expecting myself to be able to adapt overnight and silencing all little voices inside my brain.

Changes, now, to me seem to be for the better - it symbolises the acceptance of the inevitable and unchangeable. If one does not change, one becomes susceptible to being left out/behind.

For the last 8 months, I already learnt to let go bit by bit the control freak in me at work, trying to strike a balance between perfectionism and accuracy and time efficacy. I learnt that there are indeed things in life that I cannot control, and that my fate is often not under my control, as a perfect project can be tarnished by just a stroke of luck, so as to speak. I will continue to learn that I would not be able to be in control of the entire picture, as much as I wish to.

For now, I need to find back the creative streak, that I stifled and kept hidden for so long.

Inspiration, O where art thou?

Feeling woozy
Belle

30 is the new 20

I am turning 30 this May, and while it is intimidating, it is also interesting.

I know this year will be a good year.

Year of Firsts

Photo credit: http://behappy.me/but-theres--always--a-first--time-for--everything

Post mid year reflection -

2014 has been an eventful year for me, much more than I had anticipated.

Amidst the bad, there were a lot of good...

Completed so many long-term projects:

I got a gift after one long wild goose chase (making me believe that sometimes you just can't run away from what you are destined to receive/be).

I got married (thank goodness it's going to be just once!)

And, we are getting the keys to our house this month!

It's been so amazingly fast that I can just remember three years ago, we were so psyched about purchasing our new home and now we are about to be bestowed the ownership of the apartment!

In these 3 years, so much has changed and grown - and I'm really glad that we made it so far, together. Without you, it would have been impossible to scale all these projects single-handedly.

Love,
Me

On getting it right all the time

Photo credit: www.notonthehighstreet.com

I've been thinking quite a lot, and wondering if this fixation with perfection seems to originate from the control freak inside me, or something that the society perpetuates through its various platforms - media, norms and the like.

Is it more important to be right all the time, or is it better to make mistakes and learn along the way?

Say, is there something called Mr Right?

Having been through waves of ups and downs in relationships, I think I have figured out my answer...

...which is no.

From the way I see it, it's always about a balance of compromise and acceptance.

Compromise to strike a balance between both parties' needs/wants/interests/desires, while accepting that the other party is different.

I have to say that it's always easier to compromise than to accept, because acknowledging that our significant others are really different from us, and we cannot change this fact nor change their personalities is a huge, huge challenge.

I link this to the incessant search for perfection, often selfishly to suit our own individual needs.

Dan and I are worlds apart, if you know us personally.

I itch to travel ever so often, I cannot sit still and I get bored within a snap of the fingers. I love to read and write, and my idea of a good time is getting out of the house.

He loves cars, games, and all things gadgets. Extremely homely, he is contented to have his loved ones with him at his personal comfort zone at home.

But we find a common line - where we enjoy each other's company and keep our individuality :)

Along the years, I have come to appreciate this... more than I ever did in my young, dramatic years... and something tells me that I have become better in this aspect and have learned to let things go more easily...

If anything, Dan has taught me not to fret over things I am not able to control, to keep my chins up no matter how daunting things can be, not to glare at people who walk too slowly...  learn to organise my stuff better (I'm appalled and ashamed at how neat and organised he is, compared to me!) and more importantly, to not want to control everything.

It's quite tough really, but along the years, he has also learned the best way to help me understand and relax, the only way he knows how (and the way that miffs me always) - make me laugh at how silly my fears are.

Sometimes, I really wish I could live life like him, bravely in the face of adversity, unfaltering in the faces of naysayers, while I put on a pretense that I'm really brave, only to grab off this mask at the comfort of my home and feeling extremely exhausted at the facades that I'm capable of pulling through (but draining me entirely...).

Recently, he has put his apron on again, and whipped up a lot of yummy dishes which have surprised me and made me very blessed.  

Sadly, I know that I do not have the patience like he has... to whip up lovely yummies, and therefore I am always grateful for his love. One day, I hope that with our new house coming, I can surprise him with some simple (read: won't cause me to burn the house down) food!

In the past, I used to think that loving someone seems to be very easy... but as I grow older, I realise that it must be a combined effort...and I'm happy to say that I've kinda gotten the hang of it :)

"My face in thine eye, thine in mine appears,And true plain hearts do in the faces rest;

Where can we find two better hemispheres,

Without sharp north, without declining west?

Whatever dies, was not mixed equally;

If our two loves be one, or, thou and I

Love so alike, that none do slacken, none can die."

~ John Donne

2013 is the year of...

Photo Credits: Mint Exposure

Now that the year is coming to an end, it's a time to be pensive and reflect on the many events that has happened in my life, before we move on to 2014 (and I turn 29 *groans*).

2013 has been a particularly eventful year for me, with both ups and downs just like how life is... and I would like to recap all of them...

(1) My first trip to East Malaysia in January 2013 to visit clients (existing clients whom I have hounded them incessantly and new ones who were very friendly)! It was an extremely interesting trip as it was my first trip shipyard-hopping in Miri and Sibu amidst my professional attire, and these 2 places were serene and calm, far different from what I have been used to Singapore. That said, the hotel I stayed in my first night was really scary and I couldn't sleep at all. Despite having been on overseas work trips several times in this job and being used to having to sleep alone in a foreign place, it was really unforgettably spooky - I will never step foot into that hotel again *eeps*.

But the view from my hotel was still stunning nonetheless.

2. My last work trip to HK in March 2013 was definitely interesting. I was rushing to pack for the trip and I made a mental note to myself that HK was the same as SG (same time zone, compared to Mumbai) and happily just prepared my media kit and newspapers and slammed the suitcase shut on Sunday for an afternoon flight to HK as I had a client meeting later that evening (yes, that was the only window of opportunity for me to meet said person, who was flying off on Monday so I was pressed for time).

Upon touching down at HK airport, smart me realised that it was darn cold - 14 degrees - and the longest dress I had was knee-length! I forgot about the temperature/climate difference and assumed that HK would be as warm as SG.

Despite the freezing cold, I dropped my luggage to meet the client for coffee in Central, mumbling to myself that I would buy a coat or something after the meeting.

Meeting ended at 9pm and when I reached the hotel (Ibis, Sheungwan - which has cramped rooms), room service had ceased and there was nothing to eat and nothing to buy. GG, Belle.

I scampered to the convenience store below and found *gasps* an array of instant noodles, but more importantly, in my favourite Tonkotsu flavour! :)

 This is how I epic-ly ended my first night in HK for March 2013.

The next few mornings were spent visiting my dearest clients at their offices, and I was amazed at the breath taking view of the HK harbour that their premium office locations enjoyed.

Makes work less dreadful, no?

 In my hasty taxi ride back to the hotel, I caught a glimpse of ICAC! Too much HK drama, I know.

I can never go hungry with HK's cha can tengs at all corners of the streets! I ate these for dinner, for 3 nights - love how they make the century egg so delightful!

This was my staple breakfast every morning - love their bo luo buns! Simple yet so tasty :)

And as always, I kept in touch with Dan through Facetime and whatsapp (where he sent me drawings)... Even though half the time we were agonising over the (lack of strong) internet connectivity, these small bits of conversations kept me going on. Being away on weeks of work trip alone is really tough, and his drawings keep me sane :)

Absolutely tired face after one week of work trip (830am - 6pm) with almost no breaks - never too tired to camwhore :)

 3. My first trip to Shanghai, China in April 2013

I caught a red eye flight to Shanghai and arrived groggily and grumpily at 7am, extremely upset with the lack of sleep. There was a conference in the early afternoon and my day had just began...

As usual, my belongings were strewn all around the Four Seasons Hotel room and the day just ended very late, with a lot of fun seeing the Shanghai colleagues and the chatter during the opening reception.

That night, I just called the front desk to give me 3 calls with 30 mins intervals for the next morning because I knew I would have overslept.

The next morning, next thing I knew, in my groggy state I heard the phone ring incessantly but I had been so tired that I ignored it (normal for morning calls in the hotel, right?)...

Then I heard the door open - the door was locked and trust me, I am a panicky freak and I would have made sure it was locked -

then I saw a sneaky figure peep at me and run off.

I thought I was still dreaming, until I had to shake myself up as I realised the severity of the situation.

I checked the door - it was really unlocked - which meant that someone had indeed intruded into my room.

I went to the Front Desk and checked and they confirmed they had sent a MALE representative to my room to check on me after my FIRST morning call was unanswered, with no apologies. That was really terrible - I hadn't expected that from them - at least they could have sent a female rep and I wouldn't have died because I didn't pick up the first morning call.

But there was no time to waste as there was so much going on - so I didn't bother making any formal complaint but I took note to double lock my door this time and place a table against the door - just in case.

This also marked my last trip for work in 2013.

 4. My fixation with Diablo III was my way to cope with the increasing stress at work - extremely therapeutic and I was always looking forward to checking if I had won gold or USD in the AH or RMAH respectively.

These days, playing Diablo III has become a luxury instead - I try not to stare at the computer anymore after work.

 5. My 28th birthday celebration was an almost one week affair (10 - 16 May 2013) and the best I ever had :)

We spent the first half of the day at USS (where I was promised to be brought to) and after blindfolding me and leading me to somewhere that sounded quite quiet, I opened my eyes to a beautiful Awfully Chocolate cake and my dearest friends in front of me :)

                                                   Thank you for the beautiful surprise that I will never forget :)

My birthday book to keep

 The beautiful villa! 

The birthday celebration ended off on my actual birthday where we had nice sake at Five Izakaya Bar at Changi City Point:

Thank you for giving me the best I ever had :)

6. Getting notified that our new house would be ready in 2nd quarter 2014 - filled with excitement and anxiety - and of course lots of planning for our new house's furnishings!

7. Baking (or in my case, looking at Dan bake) has been lots of fun. I can only lay claim on this Oreo No-Bake cheese cake (because... no bake...) while he has baked tiramisu, brownies, cookies, which are always yummy (even when I do not have a sweet tooth). 

8. Terrible haze that caused so much irritation to us but taught us to love and take care of our environment. It was really depressing to see our familiar skylines shrouded in dirty haze.

9. Trip to HK in July with bestie for our project - we had a no frills long day walking along to find out what we could procure and ended up lots of loots! As usual, our trip was filled with nothing but laughter (for example, her dropping her phone, us buying a BAG of rice, finding out there were silicone gel bits available...) - what would I do without you?

10. Spraining my left ankle every week was no joke. My ankle has always been a problem - but the sudden burst of clumsiness exacerbated the problem - I went for TCM at 2 clinics voluntarily despite my darkest fear of pain, because I couldn't take the damn sprain every week. 

11. My cornea laceration on both eyes brought me the worst time of 2013 - it was terrifying to not be able to see clearly; at one point, I was even having blurry visions.

The specialist told me that my eyes had been abused for too long and while others required just days or weeks to recover, my corneas would require months because I had worn my contact lens for too long for years.

Because I was always too lazy, I wore my contact lens from morning 7am to 1am, thinking that it would be ok.

It's not okay - having the biggest scare of your life with such poor vision with hyper sensitivity to light is no joke at all. The amount of tender care required and the medication needed on my eyes caused me so much upset and regret about not taking care of my eyes.

As I cannot control my working hours, I switched to wearing glasses instead - better ugly than lose my sight.

And I only wear dailies (if I ever do), otherwise Dan will start nagging again.

12. Our healthy lifestyle was a success with running weekly and eating non fried and oily food - we have to push ourselves harder again! It's an amazing feat if you ask me the amount that we ran - but running together really helped motivate me :)

13. Celebrating Dan's 30th birthday marks our 5th year together :)

I found this really cute Durian cake from Durian Empire and surprised Dan with it. 

The cake was unfortunately too sweet I feel but it was beautiful nonetheless.

Dan and his favourite boy :)

I also planned a surprise short getaway to Taiwan where we savoured all the snacks we could and this time we stayed at a fantastic hotel at Ximending - it was posh but it did not break my bank, with stylish furnishings and a perfect location.

I honestly wish we have more time to travel, but I know that your work takes up a lot of your time. We will work hard together so that we can go for a longer trip in 2014 :)

Sleeepy,

Belle

5 more months to...

Yes, I'm counting down.

5 more months to...

(1) Collecting our keys to our new home after waiting for years!

(2) Saying "I do" to a lifetime commitment of being together through thick or thin

So many things to do, so little time.

We received the letter that informed us of the expected TOP date of our new home to be in 2nd quarter 2014, which almost coincides with the wedding date - thanks to hectic work schedules and no work-life balance, we are now facing 2 major milestones in our lives - gulps-!

I'm already visualising that the planning will get tougher and tougher as we approach May 2014, so please grant us sanity and control over the madness that will unfold itself.

It's already mid December, and we have so much more to do, including deciding on the wedding theme and colour, the favours, the gatecrashing, the outdoor solemnisation event...

I think we need a holiday, like now...

Tired max,
Belle

Painful lesson for the forgetful me

I'm not only growing old, but also getting really forgetful.

I was going through my stash in my designated wardrobe (yes, Daniel actually assigned me one wardrobe so that Hurricane Isabelle would not devastate his personal area, but alas... the damage is still done, and I have also taken over some parts of his wardrobe)...

... and I found so many new stuff that I do not remember having bought before.

*sheepish face*

I suspect that it must have been because I succumbed to my frequent bouts of stress-induced shopping therapy, and I conveniently stashed them quietly in my corner and forgot about them.

I have become so good at hiding my purchases that I, myself, forget that I even bought them.

Anyway.

I saw my collection of skincare/makeup products that look so foreign to me, and some of them are even unopened!

The Biotherm AquaSource product above is one such example. Sigh.

Unsealed, untouched, unused.

I tried looking for the expiry date but I saw a foreign-looking batch code staring back at me.

This is the time that Google is the most useful tool on Earth. I frantically typed in "how to read expiry date for biotherm product singapore" and I got this website.

Apparently, the product was manufactured in 2009 (!) and as all skincare/make up products go, the effective use date is 3 years... which means, it's expired!!!

I tried another website to confirm this heart-breaking news and unfortunately, the bad news remain.

I recently discovered a whole box (at least 20cm length x 20cm length) worth of products that I had to throw away - actually Daniel had to pull it away from me and insisted that I just got rid of them as the expiry date was 2009... and I have to go through this trauma again, today!

I really hate throwing things away. Yes, I'm a compulsive hoarder, and one day when I grow old, I think I may just accidentally set a fire to my stash of belongings and die and noone will even know!

I don't think anyone should go through this pain of throwing expensive skincare/make up products away because they have expired after being left forgotten at the back of the wardrobe... so I decided to start using those that have yet to expire (at least 2 more years to go, which means my last cosmetics major shopping haul happened in 2012, during one of my bad days... ).

The website links to check the expiry dates of your products are here, in case the links above fail...

1 .Cosmetic Calculator (http://checkcosmetic.net/)
2. Cosmetics Wizard (http://cosmeticswizard.net/)

Many companies do not provide in a straightforward manner of "Best Before Dates", so it's more important to check, especially for face products.

Sigh,
Belle

Wedding Preparations 1101E

Image credits: www,celebrateintimateweddings.wordpress.com

I know I will be a bridezilla.

I just know I will be, given my terrible temper and my persistence (aka nasty insistence on having everything go perfectly according to plan, with no room for any mistakes).

In fact, I think I have already become one. 

I cannot describe fully how the wedding preparations have been overwhelmingly scary to me, and the most difficult part for me was how to start planning, as there were so many factors to consider.

We have finally confirmed the wedding venue and the special date, after countless appointments with the banquet sales manager during our missed lunch breaks and numerous deliberations between Dan and I. All I can say is I'm so relieved that we have at least taken the baby steps to confirm these 2 details.

*wipes sweat*

When I was very young and I was the flower girl for my 2 sisters who got married, I always imagined myself having a lot of fun preparing all these details, down to the colour of my bouquet, the lace details of my wedding dress, the engraving on the wedding rings...

But when I first started the planning, I almost wanted to give up and I was telling Dan that I couldn't sleep well, I was having headeggs and it was a nightmare. I'm very thankful that he sat me down and walked through the steps with me.

Yesterday, we went for our first bridal gown trying to decide which bridal studio we would be working with and I really like this dress that I tried:

I fell in love with this gown for its delicate details and its beautiful train.

In fact, I think the most enjoyable part (as you can see, I'm only beginning to start enjoying the planning process... like now...) of wedding planning is the trying of wedding gowns! It's like shopping with no obligations (dependent on the bridal studio you go and whether they are pushy... but I'm lucky I have a nasty resting bitch face).

But then again, picking THE wedding gown is also quite tough... too many choices, too little time, too little money...

This is the best time to go online to browse through gowns and get inspirations for the gown, but the problem is also that there are really too many choices.

I'm not known to be decisive when there are too many choices... so I foresee that I am going to have some problems :/

As for the evening gown, I really like these styles for now... but I have not done enough research yet:

I find the last gown more contemporary, and less formal, since the evening gown is for the 2nd march-in... But I still cannot make up my mind >.<

The next thing is to start losing weight! Probably the most worrying issue for brides-to-be...

Hungry but shall not eat so much,
Belle